The Art of Doing Nothing

I recently became a proud member of the Do Nothing Club. Well, maybe not so recently. Like not during the past two centuries. Nevertheless, I am now enrolled, certified, and valiantly practicing. And trust me, in our history of Puritanism, Patriarchy and Pinterest, this is not as easy as one might think.

Of course, this isn’t an actual club. I’m an closet introvert and don’t join or start, or even talk about clubs, but I really felt the need to pass on this information in case you had time to do nothing.   Most people don’t understand the importance of doing nothing. They assume that doing nothing means doing nothing all the time or thinly disguised as procrastination and laziness, but in truth, it is one of the best things anyone can do for oneself – and the world – because doing nothing gives us the energy to do something.

DOING NOTHING IS AN ACTION. Don’t know why I had to say that so loud.

It takes time to do nothing. I am guessing that for most of your lives you have been running at an unsustainable pace, multi-tasking your way through the day, enjoying or being present for very little of it. When exactly did those tulips come out last year, you do remember the moment your child took their first step, or when Facebook changed your status to “single”.

We are filled with uncertainty all day long, and that drives us to try to do more, to get control of everything, to cram more into our lives, to stay addicted to technology and distraction.

For the most part society measures our worth by what we accomplish. Daydraming is seen as a sign of weakness, a habit to be eradicated. I garner, most CEO’s would not be impressed if we gazed out of our window for half an hour at work.

Over the years, I too, have been known to rearrange all my books by colour, lift weights, and make a painstaking ascent over a Himalayan mountain, although not often all at once.

We are not assaulted by our social media hamster wheel of constant, incessant information that has now become de rigueur, our devices exposing us to a barrage of colliding and clamouring messages; a world of pop-up notifications, LinkedIn requests, 24/7 Facebook “news” feed, tinging emails, Twitter alerts, Snapchat (the fastest way to share a moment), mule feed advertisements, and the counterfeit crowns that come in the form of reposts, retweets and “likes”.

We have developed a Pavlovian response to this New Age torture device –  two people at dinner having separate dates with their iPhones, finding tweets from strangers more interesting than the person sitting across the table. Or worse, a game of Candy Crush. 

And can’t we just have one meal in a restaurant without taking a picture of it?

I cannot begin to list all the ways that this is not okay. Our attention span has dwindled to all of 29.8 seconds. 

It may not seem that way to you now, but there is an outside chance you will not live forever. Do you want your children to remember you as some old dude who was completely disengaged because we couldn’t stop staring at our phone?Remember, we all have an expiration date.

So put your phone down and really look at the person in front of you. Do something crazy, like have a conversation.

If you want to feel out of place in a public setting these days, just start staring off into space or watching people as they walk by. Do it long enough and someone is liable to walk up and ask you if you’re feeling OK.

Now I do more nothing. Not all nothing, but more nothing.

At the beginning, my family almost staged an intervention when they found me aimlessly staring at clouds possibly thinking about learning to knit Icelandic earflap hats. But they got used to it, especially when they each received a hat for Christmas.   It may also be because my cell phone had been tragically killed in a drinking accident the week before.

So how do you practice the art of doing nothing.

1. Stop saying, “I’m busy”, like it’s a badge of honour.

2. Put a tiny block of “do nothing” on your calendar every day. You don’t have to determine how you’ll spend your do nothing time in advance, in fact, that’s the point.  “Slow drip” efforts applied consistently over time are the real game changer here. Dive into the lush, deep forest of idleness. Watch how clouds break up. Listen to falling rain. Ponder your inherited tea cup collection.

3. Throw guilt to the wind. You aren’t choosing to do nothing because you are lazy, but because it’s essential to your health and happiness. You are choosing to do nothing because you are not a robot and because you’ve done enough already.

To do nothing at all is the most difficult thing in the world, the most difficult and the most intellectual.                                           – Oscar Wilde

4. Recognize the difference between nothing and numbing. Embrace Dolce far Niente, “the sweetnesss of doing nothing”, what Italians, for one, have done for centuries.

This does not mean being lazy. It is the pleasure one gets from being idle; the ability to completely enjoy and savour a moment. For Italians this concept is a part of their every day life; spending time with friends at a café, sipping wine at sunset, talking a stroll around the moonlit piazza. Italians make it an art form.

Have people over. Real hospitality doesn’t involve waiting until you finally buy a new couch, remodel the bathroom or have matching silverware, although I know a great place to buy some.

3. Do the math. If you are thinking, I don’t have time to do nothing, remind yourself that you’ll spend less time doing other things if you approach them with ease and clarity. You can’t do that when you are worn out. Good work doesn’t come from someone who is overworked.

Leave the dinner dishes. You don’t have to clean the kitchen the second you stop eating. Instead, go for a walk around the neighbourhood. The dishes aren’t going anywhere.

So this Sunday, wake up with a new mindset, the mindset of Italians. Enjoy the silence, stay in bed a little longer, eat chocolate Easter eggs, read poetry, have sex with your partner, stare at the ceiling, breathe in fresh air, organize your socks. Just be.