Staircase Wit

How many times has this happened to you?

You are at a dinner party…in a meeting…with a friend…interviewing for a job…going on a date, and are deeply engaged in a topic you know well. But perhaps for whatever reason, you are not on top of your game at that moment, or are a bit self-conscious, tired, distracted, or worried about looking foolish.

When challenged on some point, you find yourself at a complete loss for words, incapable of cobbling together even a semblance of a coherent, – never mind ingenious response.

Soon after, you leave. On your way down the staircase, you continue to replay that humiliating moment in your mind, searching for that perfect cutting or witty retort you would have loved to deliver to your frenemy. Just as you reach the bottom of the stairs, you find it. Eureka!

The question. Should you turn around, walk back up the stairs, and return to deliver your illustrious comeback?

Of course not. It’s too late. The moment — and with it, the opportunity — had passed.

This is what Diderot wrote about this experience in 1773, “A sensitive man, such as myself, overwhelmed by the argument leveled against him, becomes confused and can only think clearly again [when he reaches] the bottom of the stairs.”

And so he coined the phrase l’esprit d’escalier — the spirit of the stairs, or staircase wit – the incisive remark you come up with too late.

The perfect comeback. The lost retort. And it carries with it a sense of regret, disappointment, humiliation.

We all want a do-over. But we seldom get one.

Luckily STAIRCASES in our homes need not be prone to such comportment. There is always another chance to right the wrong, fix the unfixable, or utilize the “it’s never too late” philosophy – in other words to experience great “growth fulness” if we keep our wits about us.

I would now like to look more closely at specific areas of rectifying pejorative staircase design/colours/styling/cluttered and other worthwhile endeavours to reflect positive social values that – hey!! Where you going? Get back here!

Now to avert events like sprained ankles, lawsuits and an appropriate amount of profanity, we need to put our best foot forward, starting with the front steps.

How many times have I had to manoeuvre a maze-like obstacle course just to get to the doorbell of client’s homes. It’s important to keep the coast clear for great curb appeal, hungry guests and quick get-aways.Often the same amount and type of extraneous debris found on the front steps (except for snow shovels, empty plant pots and ineffectual umbrellas) can be found on interior stairs and landings, which need to be kept clear at all times. 

There are some houses that are fortuitous to have a small shelf halfway up the staircase that many erroneously believe is a laundry basket or grounds to display a collection of small dusty candles and unframed archival photographs of distant ancestors. Contrary to years of mismanagement, this is actually an opportune styling situation for a grouping of mainly TALL art object(s).Then we have the niche, where many are wont to lay down the smallest object they own. Simply put, it’s the two-thirds design height rule, or at least half.

But then again, rules are meant to be broken.

The stairway wall leading up to the next floor can serve as an art gallery, although I have to warn you, this is quite difficult to pull off without a truly talented stylist with a penchant for heights and a small level. 

Some homes have a staircase landing wide enough for an art gallery or family photos (if not, my favourite space is the upstairs hallway wall)…

or stairs wide enough for shelves.

So in your home, you can be real, have a second chance – and come up with that “zinger” line.

Just go back up the stairs again.