| Though we’ve been sequestered for months on end, this time has given us a fertile time to reflect upon our stuff. And this realization can be downright painful. And if you’re the parent of a millennial, prepare for disappointment. For the most part, they DO NOT want your stuff. I don’t think there’s a future for possessions of our parent’s generation. It’s now a minimalist obsessed society. |
| I love to walk into a home and see that someone has their own individual aesthetic and design perspective and that they’ve collected uncommon pieces that speak to them. Their home decor may be the product of years (maybe a lifetime) of collecting. Each piece is a treasure that brings to mind the time, place, and story behind where they got it. We all have heirlooms, what historians have come to call “the society of things”. They are important because they help tell our stories and make sense of the world. (except for Hummel figurines, Thomas Kinkade paintings, or barbeque lighter fluid left over from the ’70’s) But with the growth of manufacturing, we became obsessed with the sheer volume and ease of goods we could accumulate — a need so bottomless that it has left us with cluttered living rooms, packed basements and garages, and overflowing storage units. After all, there’s a big difference between needing things, and wanting things. Unless you come from a family with tremendous providence, you probably don’t have much that’s worth a lot. It’s thought that if you liquidate everything in the average home down to the teaspoons, it’s worth about $5000, not multiples of that. Yes, even the stuff you worry the most about, the stuff you think is so good you don’t use it for fear of breaking it, has little to no resale value. Why? Baby boomers have glutted the market with their castoffs, and millennials, the next generation of buyers, don’t want it. And eventually, someone will be tasked with the OVERWHELMING JOB of getting rid of it. It’s just as important to continue defining who we are, as to continue eliminating who we are not. You insist that your things have meaning. They have value. They have memories. They are important. Well, they’re important – to you. It’s your memory, no one else’s. Nothing is worth anything if no one wants it. My first and biggest job when I style or stage a home, is determining the excess. Some people are like complicated wallpaper, eager to entertain, but all too frequently unable to oblige. I remind clients who are having a hard time letting go of items, that there is always someone else in the world who could use it and who might truly treasure it. Or convincing them that they don’t really need it, use it, or require so many. That it might even be a blessing to the entire western world. Or to obey the rule that if something new comes in, something old goes out. (Like that’s EVER going to happen.) Or emboldened with dubious veracity, they want to de-clutter – mostly by giving their clutter to me. (“No” is a complete sentence.) Alas, it goes without saying that I’ve been trying to influence people my entire life: ostensibly with limited success. Take the pearls, not the piano. Not only have tastes changed, but the way millennials think about stuff has changed. Their needs and desires have changed. Few now have formal dining rooms or a place for an ornate chandelier. They consider freedom a priority. They are more mobile and don’t want anything that heavily weighs them down. The hectic pace of life weakens their attachment to “things”. They are choosing simpler lifestyles, often have limited storage space, as well as not having the past two generations of attachment, guilt and sentiment that comes with that mahongany sideboard. With today’s disposable culture, it’s cheaper to buy a sofa from IKEA than to hire a truck and move a giant sectional. As well, some of the older furniture won’t even fit in the smaller houses and condos. Some of it won’t even fit in the elevator. Many want to start and create their own collections – surrounded by pieces that are curated to reflect their travels, memories, ways of being, and their personal style. They want to choose their own lifestyle – and flatware. The question is: What matters in the end? What endures? Will they be treasures or burdens? One day, this will all be yours! So don’t guilt your children into keeping all (or any) of your possesions. Or they might just conveniently “forget” their copy of “The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up” next time they visit. |
Sorry, no one wants your stuff.
June 23, 2022 by
This was sooo good Karyn and so timely with so many of the sellers that I have dealt with over the last few years – well done and sadly but truthfully said!!!
– S. WEIR
Great perspective Karyn! I received this email when I was packing yesterday and was excited to read it as I wondered if I was going to be called out for donating lamps etc. 😆
My mom has a lot of ‘stuff’ for me to inherit, mostly heirloom dining and tea sets from her mother in England. For the longest time I told her I didn’t want them, but as maturity kicked in I told her when we have found a house to settle in, I would gladly take them. But everything in your article is spot on – we are different generations with different values and traditions.
We are currently downsizing- its been scary but liberating. Living out of a suitcase for several months makes you realize how little you truly need!
Hope you are well, and as always, thank you for these newsletters! 🙂
Kind Regards,