| There are two types of self-isolators: the type whose day care/gym/office isn’t an open all hours restaurant – and the rest of us. And I no longer have a relationship with my calendar. My days collapse one into another. Sunday morphs into Tuesday and on into Friday, the dividing lines vanish like invisible ink, Pinot Noir figuring prominently. To help paint our lives into new and challenging corners with Buddha-like patience, we need things to look forward to and things to comfort us throughout the day, so we don’t spiral out with locked down fatigue. They don’t have to be great big huge. Never discount simple, yet sublime pleasures like that first sip of hot coffee, the soft notes of mediation music played as soon as you rise, or the sun on the herbs growing in the window box, for us to become uncomplicatedly happy. |
| Today, what can you do for yourself to feel nourished and affirmed, to be self beneficiaries of kindness and reassurance? |
Go for a long walk without purpose, preferably in nature, Let your thoughts dissipate, free up, or run wild in the almost car-free streets, with clear skies, fresh air, and a surreal quiet where you look up when you hear a rare airplane. Take a book with you and read a few chapters. Or do a little yoga and some stretches. |
| I don’t know about you, but I am slowly building myself up to attempt a press-up in the coming weeks. |
Put on your favorite article of clothing. It could be your comfy pyjamas, yoga pants, or a sequin jacket. What’s important is that it should make you feel good about your body. |
| Don’t hold on to clothes that don’t reflect who you are anymore, or who you want to be. Clothes are not an indicator of your worth. If any of your clothes don’t fit well or give you pleasure when you wear them, let them go. |
| Get rid of old things that you don’t use or makes your heart hurt. Don’t be St. Jimmy the Indecisive, the patron saint of the wishy-washy. Not only was he tortured by doubts about God’s existence, but with what shirts to hang on to.If you have stuff in your home that make you feel worse when you see them — like birthday gifts that you never liked or mementos of an old relationship — TOSS THEM. You don’t need things like that bringing you down. |
Surround yourself with things that make you feel good. Whether you stack piles of books around you, hang inspirational art, order fresh flowers, light scented candles, or keep a supply of your favourite fruit – these are simple treats that can soothe the body and soul, no matter how you look at it.P.S. Strawberry ice cream doesn’t count as a serving of fruit. Make a playlist of the songs you jammed to from years ago or from different stages of your life – and let the nostalgia and good vibes roll. |
Print out and frame some photos of family and friends.
Having visual reminders of the people who love and care about you is a homemade comfort blanket.
| Decorate your space so you actually like being there. Take good care of it – keep it clean and tidy, arrange furniture to suit how you want to live now, display items you want to see every day, and make it a place that makes you feel safe. Make your bedroom as calm as possible. Smooth down your sheets, plump your pillows, and straighten your bedcovers. I’ve never heard of too many blankets…layer throws and piles of pillows for the perfect nap location. |
Call your person. Maybe it’s calling your parents to check in and get an instant boost, a favourite aunt, or you best friend from uni. It doesn’t even have to be a long phone call — just say hi when you have a free five minutes. Reach out to at least one person who loves and cares about you everyday. Nothing beats the reassuring intimacy of a human voice straight into the ear. |
| Write down a compliment you get. You’re the cat’s pyjamas! Next time someone sincerely compliments you for something or you feel proud of yourself for something, write it in your phone. You write down what groceries you need so as not to forget, so why not write down things that make you feel good too. That way when you’re feeling a little low, they are easy to access. |
Take care of some plants. Water them, trim their leaves, repot them in fresh soil. It can feel empowering to nurture something, but it’s also nice to connect with nature every day, if only in a small way.It’s OK to have a romantic relationship with your plant. |
Start a gratitude journal.
We tend to focus on negative thoughts a lot more than positive ones, so you need to give yourself a moment to check in with your happier thoughts and realities.
Every day, write down 5 things for which you are grateful. One day you might just work yourself up to tens of tens, developIng appropriate gratitude for every apparently minor thing, to celebrate the transcendent beauty of the everyday.
Practice self care.
Take 10 minutes before bed every night to put body lotion on. While doing it, try to be really intentional about it, focusing on having positive and affirming thoughts about your body.
It’s a small act of self-love, but it will make your skin feel really soft while giving your brain a mindfulness break by focusing in on the ‘here and now’. It’s a great way to prepare for bed and you might notice how good your skin/body feels after just a few days.
| Linger in a bath instead of a shower. Buy bubbles that you love, or light a candle before you hop in. Reinvigorate daydreaming. Listen to an audiobook or podcast while you wallow. |
It’s okay not to be okay sometimes. It’s impossible to be happy 24/7 and it’s okay not to be okay, but it’s not okay to stay that way. Let yourself be down for a while, without demanding so much from yourself and without ignoring how you’re feeling. Let it out, even if you need to induce a cry with a a tear-jerking movie or a sad song, giving way to sadness like when you were a child. Talk to someone you trust about what you’re feeling. Become a friend to yourself. Apply the generosity and compassion to yourself as you do to your friends and family. You’re only human, and you’re doing your best. This Mother’s Day, let your grief and happiness intertwine; two halves of a whole. We are all taking it one day at a time. |
SEPARATED. TOGETHER. |
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