Pillow Talk: In Defence of a Divisive Home Accessory

February 8, 2025 by Leave a Comment

      ’Tis better to have loved and layered, than never to have layered at all.’                                                                       (Apologies to Willie Shakespeare.)
As Cupid readies his bow and arrow, businesses worldwide are gearing up for one of the most lucrative holidays of the year: Valentine’s Day – the day where everyone has an equal chance to be emotionally disappointed. And why is it that, on this night, we have four glasses of wine when we feel like we need so many more? 

You know that I have a soft spot for Valentine’s Day. Not an infatuation, not an attraction, but an obsession. Truly irrational. Especially when it comes to heart-shaped pancakes, chocolate covered strawberries with those little tuxedos, and most importantly – “heart” toss pillows.
True Confession. I have a decorative pillow habit. It makes me feel like I’m contributing to my community. So for Valentine’s Season I am bringing out all my “heart” and “LOVE” pillows, cause I’m a grownup who gets things done.  

Given I have no significant romantic obligations (I have only been married once which was in consequence of a misunderstanding between myself and a young person.), I can dedicate all of my extra time and attention to styling my numerous toss cushions, while finding new and innovative ways to keep them plumped.  

Many have rolled their eyes at the sayings on my decorative pillows, but they’re really missing the point. I don’t particularly care if my pillows are clever, only that they’re there, cherished for the very fact that I own them. 
I never met a throw cushion I didn’t like. 

All of us have a different take on turning a home into our refuge of choice. Some of us like a place we only have to dust once a decade. Some of us are still trying to figure out what our “grown-up” interior design style is, and some of us have the true goal of turning our home into an interior design haven; to find the intersection between what the heart wants and the best toss cushions.  

For example. Should you choose the one called “Apple Cider Smash” or the vermillion one? They have been sitting on your sofa for months, but you know how colour changes with the light—of course you do!—so it’s been hard to decide. One shade is a little cooler, one a little warmer.  Your friends refuse to discuss it any further, and they’ve begun to (unfairly) characterize your gentle queries every time they come out of the small bathroom as “gotcha” questions. They’ve actually stopped using the small bathroom altogether, which is fine, because none of them remember to jiggle the handle just so (even though you posted a detailed schematic on the wall and have shown them how to do it numerous times).  So the colour choice is up to you, but I’m sure you could use a second opinion. You don’t want to overthink it.

Not all pillows are created equal. 

The benefits of having accent pillows are endless. A multifaceted tool. Unsung heros.  From a symbol of status and wealth, to mood-altering, to showing off your personality, to improved health. I mean, seriously.

Toss pillows have provided significant contributions as early as circa 7,000 BCE in early Mesopotamia. Although they were probably made of stone.

Reasons… 

One: Good posture. Because among small people I am the tallest, I often stack two cushions on top of the other to use as a footrest. And to prop up my laptop.After all, you want to look great and  be comfortable. 

Two: Toss cushions are the perfect size for emotional comfort. i.e. sobbing, fainting, screaming into, as well as supporting specific body parts.

Look, I’m all in favour of emotion. In fact, I’ve been using this newsletter as therapy for years. One day I hope to someday publish a book on their calming effects. 

Three: The anti-throw pillow crowd, based on experiences at various aunts’ homes, asks if you really need these “scatter cushions” if you aren’t into the whole design process? In short, yes. And I’ll tell you why in one word: naps. 

Four: It’s an easy way to zhoozh up a space – if you want to veer on the classier side of Bed Bath and Beyond. It’s a tactic that always has increased the aesthetic value of a room and protected your loved ones, especially the pillows have eye-catching sequins, tassels, beads, or pom-poms.

There are certain inanimate rules and questions to ask before expertly deploying toss cushions.

Questions: 
Is karate-chopping the centre of the pillow de rigueur? Easy answer. Don’t. 

Are they going to stand out too much and distract from the containers on my kitchen counter? 

Rules: 

The Rule of Threes. Whether you’re looking at pieces of the same colour, pattern, texture, shape, or size, make sure it’s a trio. But if threes just aren’t working, aim for other odd or even numbers instead. It’s an opportunity to try out your most interesting layering ideas, encouraging robust gatherings and harmonious social interactions. 

Size Matters. Why? According to the The International Society of Furniture Designers, 78% say that choosing various dimensions elevates the arrangement. For example, mix a 22” square organic cotton pillow with smaller rectangular pillows with round pillows with some shaped like hearts to enhance flow. Remember: this is your space. It should reflect the holiday. 

Textures and Patterns. Neutrals and pet hair are not good relationship material. 
Final Thoughts. 

I also recommend living life on the edge with a bed covered, but usually next to (hence the word “throw” cushion which requires particular actions), with at least eight wrinkle-free tiny pillows.  

I mean, can you ever have too much love? It’s a phrase I live by, and not just because it’s needlepointed on three of my throw pillows. Which also makes for a great topic starter when conversation lags and unity is lacking. 

Just remember. February 15 is “National Put Away Heart Pillows Till Next Year.” Day. 

Please.
Filed Under: Blog

Valentine’s Staging Special

February 8, 2025 by Leave a Comment
‘Tis better to have loved and listed, than never to have listed at all.’(With apologies to Willie Shakespeare.) 

As Cupid readies his bow and arrow, businesses worldwide are gearing up for one of the most lucrative holidays of the year: Valentine’s Day.  An opportunity to try out your most interesting marketing ideas and gain attention.

There are simple gestures to play Cupid to your clients and their dream homes –– finding the perfect match. Such a sweetheart deal. 

You know I have a soft spot for Valentine’s Day—heart cushions, fuzzy red throws, chocolate covered strawberries, and all that. Not an infatuation, not an attraction, but an obsession. Truly irrational. Especially when it comes to staging a listing.
‘All the world’s a stage, and all the sellers and buyers, merely players. They have their exits and their entrances…’but you don’t want them to come through the front door and quickly out the back.  Have them see red – in a good way. 

‘There are good hearts to serve men in mansions as in condominiums.’ 

It’s the small things that build connection and responsiveness. A comfy chair with a hearty toss cushion, a soft throw draped and ambient lighting, bonding buyers with a cozy sanctuary. Set out a couple of books or a cup of tea on a small side table, and you have a spot that feels like a warm hug. 

True love doesn’t have to mean sharing your toothbrush––or having them out for buyers to see.

Pop in a splash of red with a decorative soap dispenser or fluffy red towels.

‘If music be the food of love, play on.’
Soft music playing in the background translates feelings that spoken words can’t. Unforgettable. 

It’s all about connecting and showing reasons to love your listing by adding a touch of love to your marketing strategies. So go ahead, spread the love this Valentine’s Day! 

‘To stage or not to stage, that is the question.’ 

Happy Valentine’s Selling!

Filed Under: Blog

50 Shades of Green

January 31, 2025 by Leave a Comment

It’s a brilliant and easy marketing technique in selling a home— one of my personal favourite and budget-friendly strategies for maximizing value and selling quicker.
If you have a property about to go on the market, knowing how to incorporate greenery to cozy up the vibe may be the difference between the listing dying on the vine—or sprouting interest.  

With today’s technology overhaul, home buying is less like a blind date and more like online dating. To snag those online suitors, it is essential that the homes’ profile pictures are nothing less than stunning, the home dressed up in order to earn that “first date”.  

Pick up any interior design magazine and you’ll see that almost every photo has either plants or fresh flowers providing the finishing touch. Surveys have proven that photos posted with plants get way more traffic, clicks, and direct messages. 
Buyers want a home that has been cared for. Displaying plants show that the seller is someone who likely also took care of other parts of the home, such as the HVAC system and roof. After all, plants do require some watering and attention to stay alive.  Incorporating house plants also demonstrate the availability of a large amount of natural light in the home — a plus selling feature.
“Right plant, right place.”  

Selecting the right ones is an art in itself, for each choice and placement dramatically alters the feeling of a space. Each choice is a petal in the bouquet of a home’s story. Plants and/or fresh flowers are not just decor items, but living art pieces that breathe life into rooms, making hearts flutter like a clean sheet on a long line. They can be the soothing balm that potential buyers need, connecting them more to the home. 

Buyers feel plant energy when they walk in – unless the plants are dead, which tend to give off the emotions of strip mall mannequins.  After all, and for the most part, plants are inexpensive compared to purchasing pieces of furniture or art to fill in those empty, neglected or awkward spaces. 
DO’S AND DONT’S 

Plants should accentuate the décor, not overwhelm it. Because after all, our one task in life is to make friends with reality.  

Solution: Place extra plants in various strategic locations, consolidate 2 or 3 small plants in one pot, or just pass on extraneous plant babies for others to care for during the short selling time.  
As sure as clouds gather and clouds part, not all plants are created equal. Instead of a spattering of small plants throughout the home, group them together to create a curated, intentional look.

Staging trick: Put plants on empty shelves or on end tables where there are no lamps.
 
There is no need to go out and buy vases of expensive flowers. A little bit goes a long way. A daisy in a small vase might look great near the bathroom sink. A cluster of white hydrangeas can be fabulous on a kitchen countertop. 
It’s safe to sprinkle a few faux options in. Chances are good that nobody will ever notice if a few are actually plastic. Pinky swear. 

Plants chosen and placed wisely speak volumes, using nature’s beauty to make a house feel like a home. That’s how you get that “Wow” from buyers when they walk into a room for the first time.
 
Now that the stage is set, let them work their magic.
 
Anyway, thanks for coming to my TED talk about staging plants. (And probably more information than you asked for.) 
 
Happy Selling.
Filed Under: Blog

Seemed like a good idea at the time

January 2, 2025 by

 Ahhh…January 1. 
 
Everyone comes out swinging this time of year, the traditional day for thinking about one’s past mistakes and making lofty promises to the gods. Or as some say – “casual promises that you are under no legal obligation to fulfill.”
 
Every so often we have a go at it. 
 
But staring down the barrel of 2024, I’m working on an alternative. It’s list of things that I have no intention of ever doing. It’s more achievable and way cheaper. I mean, I have to balance ambition with practicality. 
 
There is great satisfaction of checking these items off as you don’t do them. But remember, once you’ve crossed over, there’s no looking back.
 
For example. Walking the Camino – too far. Scaling Katmandu – too high. Snowshoeing in the Arctic – too cold. Reading cosmetic labels. Too many words. 
 
Like, who needs to fight these titanic battles, anyways? 
 
This Resolution may just change my life forever. Reborn. Given a sentence of freedom. Stripped of a useless layer, like being on an IV drip of some miraculous substance. In fact, this maybe my new passion. I’m sure it’s going to turn me into a more wholesome and better human being. 
 
Thich Nhat Hanh, the preeminent Buddhist teacher, who knows a thing or two about attachments, found that committing to a No New Year’s Resolution is the most reliable way to achieve your goals for the upcoming year and create lasting change. Because you have to ask yourself: “Is your resolution realistic considering your current circumstances?” 
 
They say if you want to keep your resolutions, one trick is to tell as many people as possible or maybe join a “No Resolutions” group with similar aims for mutual support. So I’m counting on you, dear readers. 
 
But there is one resolution to which I am committted. To not ever ask questions of people just coming off an elevator. 
 
“Excuse me.” Could you please tell me where this elevator goes?”
“Up.”
“Yes, I know, but where exactly does it end up?”
“The next floor.”
 
Sigh.
 
Given I am not particularly cheerful or optimistic or “festive” by nature, this ‘No Resolutions” thing may be a problem now that I have so much more free time to judge and brood, because an empty diary can be just as stressful as a full diary.
 
Nevertheless, even if you deeply desire to uphold the No New Year’s Resolution this year, there’s always room for improvement.
 
Take unread books. They aren’t an issue as long as they fulfill their implicit secondary function: as decorative objects and social signifiers.
 
Or eating better. I don’t want to brag, but I’ve kept last year’s New Year’s Resolution. I’ve had pasta every day all this year. It’s about personal accountability.

Learning a new language. For example, in many languages, I know how to say, “Hello,” “Do you have lite mayonnaise?,” and, “What is the Wi-Fi password?”

Improving your mind. I just finished watching a six-hour silent film about Napoleon. I’m sure this counts.

Upgrading a toss pillow collection to something more daring and clever – maybe something with tassels or lace edging. It will make you feel like you are contributing to the community. Maybe one day you will write a book about their calming effects.

Losing weight. Ten pounds. Only 14 more to go.

 Of course, if you ARE the 79% who still want to uphold this time-honoured tradition, but may find it difficult to see it through, there is an offical out. The second Friday in January is “Quitter’s Day.”
 
By the way, there’s no rule that says you have to wait until January 1 to make a No New Year’s Resolution. There’s always today.

Filed Under: Blog

Enter: “Experience” Gifts

December 12, 2024 by

Now that decorating the Christmas tree is over, as in “tree with lights”, some using a method I call, “Keep wrapping the tree in lights in a haphazard manner until you can see it from outer space and they look kind of even.” (Trademark pending), you may be silently panicking as you still need to find some gifts.

Something Beautiiful. Something Useful. Something Unique. Something Meaningful.
Enter “Experience” gifts.
Unlike material possessions, which often lose their luster over time, experiences tend to appreciate value. The anticipation leading up to an experience, the moment of enjoyment during it, and the cherished memories that linger long after are all part of the equation. 
And according to www.Scrooge.com, gifting experiences instead of “stuff” serves for better relationships, and possibly makes people become slightly less annoying.
My fav Christmas gift to date was an experience. 

On Christmas Eve morning, one of my daughters arrived, presenting us with our personal Starbucks to take on our drive to Mt. Norquay. Because…we were going SNOW TUBING!Quickly getting dressed in a multitude of layers – leg warmers, wrist warmers, and forehead warmers, nine of us divided up into our cars. I quickly put on Mariah Carey, rivaled for the Queen of Christmas title only by the Virgin Mary herself, and with an uncanny ability to mangle lyrics beyond recognition, sang along until thankfully, said some, we reached the hill.All afternoon we tubed, fortified with steaming cups of hot chocolate with a little extra bit of “spike” (the drink of reason), on what we all agreed, was the most glorious mountain day ever seen in the history of mountains.
Exhilarated and exhausted, we then were treated to a fine dinner, including “ski shots”, then ended the day with a glorious hot tub soak.   
Another year, in that I was going to be in the Whitsundays, I was gifted a plane ride over The Great Barrier Reef. It remains to this day, one of my top three life experiences.
Now, if this seems like a great idea, first think about the personality of the person or people to whom you’re giving the experience. Look for clues, like what they like to do in their spare time.

Do they like walking in nature? Then maybe they would like to learn how to make spruce ice cream, which is made from the tree and tastes like a Christmas candle. Now that takes the gold plated gingerbread.

What hobbies do they enjoy? Assembling tasteful peony arrangements? Doing a 5000 piece jigsaw puzzle just because they want to? Collecting strip mall mannequins?

Do they have a decorative pillow habit? Do they like wine and cheese events? (Although most of them have a bit too much cheese, not quite enough wine.)

Now that’s a gap in the market.
Do you have someone that is homesick, away at university, or just bought their first house in another city? Whatever the case, and if that’s so—there is almost nothing better than a Homesick candle. These come in a variety of scents that evoke the character of any city. FYI: Los Angeles smells much better in candle-form.
Does this special someone need a bit of rest and relaxation to close out the year? Or likes swimming? I hear Nelson has a fine Polar Bear Swim January 1.
Giving experiences can be a pretty thrilling mission. That said, here’s the best part: how exactly to wrap an experience gift, because it only makes sense that unwrapping it should be just as exciting as the experience itself.But is it really possible to wrap an intangible?

You bet. Pair an experience gift’s certificate with a solid partner in an “use what you already have” box, bag or wrap in humble materials such as newspaper, brown paper, or paper you saved from last Christmas.

Examples: 
Food Tour: Pack a picnic basket. 
Skydiving: Go old school. A Tom Petty CD featuring “Free Falling.”
Cooking Class: A monogrammed apron.
Wellness Gift Card: Some bubble bath.
Golf Lesson: A box of golfballs or new golf glove is a tee-rific idea. Hot Air Balloon Ride: Tie the printable certificate to the end of a helium balloon bouquet.
Sushi Rolling Lesson: Tie together with a set of fancy chopsticks.
Mani-Pedi: A gift bag full of nail polish.
Hiking, Spelunking or Cavern Adventure: A head lamp.
Brewery Tour: A personalized pint glass. 
Fishing Excursion: A “Big Mouth Billy Bass” wall mount singing the praises of fly fishing.
Rock Climbing Lesson: A box of Clif bars.
Bicycle Tour: A bike bell.
Photography Class: The old-school photographer will adore rolls of film. Photo paper is a great back-up idea.
Wine and Paint Night: A blank canvas or pack of brushes.
Escape Room: A magnifying glass or an old-fashioned detective hat.
Massage: Gorgeously-scented candles. 
Splatter Paint Room: A rain poncho.
Spa Facial: An eye mask. 
Pottery Lesson: Modeling clay or PlayDoh.
Glass Blowing Class: An icicle ornament.
Paintball Outing:  A NERF gun.
Whitewater Rafting: A doughnut tube or a lounging raft.
 
A few creative touches to the gift, such as tying with hemp twine, adding pinecones, cedar branches, boxwood, dried oranges, or any nature-inspired treasures, is not only a beautiful creative package to give away, but one which has the environment (and us) foremost in mind.
Now put on your Dance Christmas playlist, make a mug of chocolate peppermint candy cane whipped no foam latte minaret with whipped cream…and that’s a wrap!
I’ll now open it up to questions from the audience.
Filed Under: Blog

“And then they took my father.”

December 2, 2024 by

People like to talk about their travels, but few of us like to listen to them, must less “read” about them. Such resembles pedagogy, or just plain bragging.

Writing is the best instrument I have for metabolizing my experience and clarifying my mind. To process. But writing about some of the dark places in Vietnam and Cambodia I visited…is proving to be difficult. I hardly have the language to articulate it. Any sentences I think to write, soon prove unusable, dry, inconsequential.  

But it is these places that are proving to be memory keepers and will probably stay within me forever. At least I hope so.  

That’s the thing about travel—it shoudn’t always be easy. Sometimes it’s necessary.  

Just because we can see (or not see) the past does not mean it is still not alive.
We need to think about the implications of visiting such dark sites. Are we honoring the victims, or are we simply voyeuristically indulging in the macabre? Are we inadvertently glorifying their oppressor? Is it exploitation for commercial gain? Disrespectful? Is tragedy now a destination?  

Or does it force us to confront the uncomfortable reality of dark history, a warning about the human capacity for cruelty? 

Going to these places instantly slammed the question, “How much am I willing to feel…or not to feel?”
While in Poland In my early twenties, I had the chance to visit the concentration camp in Auschwitz. I chose not to go. I still am not sure if that was the right decision. 

Since, I have been at the Sarajevo “roses” and in Warsaw, both cities with shrapnel holes still on buildings, ghosts of the past around every corner. I have seen Robben Island, been to Pompeii, Pearl Harbour, Alcatraz Island, The Tower of London, Anne Frank Huis, and the Roman Colosseum—commodification of places of pain and shame. 
Stories once silenced and suppressed. Places that housed incomphensible atrocities. The people valued less than a grain of rice. Where the impossible happened.

There is a palpable energy that stays long with you after visiting such a place. It weighs heavy on your heart. 

But until you actually go there, all your knowledge comes from secondhand sources, like memoirs and sanitized movies. Now you see it first hand, standing on a part of history instead of apart from it. There is a depth and breadth that gives a whole new authority, poignancy and authenticity.
It is here where forgetting is just as important as remembering.  

But nobody enters these places, they enter you.
Yes, I went biking along rice paddies, sailed around the limestone karsts of Halong Bay, browsed the labyrinthine lanes of Hoi An’s Old Town, ate fish amok, walked miles at Angkor Wat in Siem Reap and around temples and temples and temples.
 

But I also went here.
 
“And then they took my father.”
“To keep you is no benefit, to destroy you is no loss.”
People were executed here by the autocratic, xenophobic, and repressive Khmer Rouge, using the most brutal of methods. Between 1975 and 1979, more than 2 million Cambodians were killed or died of starvation and disease under the Khmer Rouge regime.  The soldiers of the Khmer Rouge pushed people into wells and ponds, suffocating them to death. They baked them alive in local tile ovens, some with livers cut out while still alive. Some, they struck down with hammers at the edge of mass graves. Children were smashed against tree trunks or pierced wth sharp bamboo sticks to save bullets. Women were raped before execution, and things done to pregnant women and their fetuses that should not ever have to enter our imaginings. Children abducted and indoctrinated, and forced to commit atrocities. Families torn apart to silence them. It plumbed the depths of horror. It was a world on fire.
“When pulling out the weeds, remove the roots and all.” 
A saying of the Khmer Rouge in an effort to justify the murder of children.                                                                                    
The Tuol Sleng (S21)The hell state “prison” where people were held for weeks and months for grueling interrogations before they were either tortured to death or sent for re-education—meaning execution. It is raw and shocking. The shower size cells, the barren and stained rooms used to interrogate them, the metal shackles used to tie prisoners to their cots.

Blood is still on the walls and torture tools dot the site. There are paintings that depict the methods of torture used on the prisoners: some had electric shocks administered to their tongues; some had their fingernails pulled out with clamps; and others had their heads plunged under water until they passed out. Some were subjected to medical experiments, including “live autopsies” done without anesthesia and experiments with homemade medications. People bled to death. Of the approximately 14,000 people imprisoned at S-21, only twelve are known to have survived.
The Cu Chi TunnelsJust outside Ho Chi Minh City is a complicated spiderwork of tunnels built within 25 years from 1948 during the war against the French. The tunnels were extended to over 250 kms. during what is known locally as the “American War”. Many skillful, deadly, and dangerous traps were arranged to keep those inside safe. In heavily bombed areas, people spent much of their life there, housing entire underground villages, with living quarters, kitchens, ordnance factories, hospitals and bomb shelters. 

This was a first-hand look at both the resourcefulness of the Viet Cong and the horrors of war for both soldiers and civilians on all sides. Trying to imagine the endurance, challenges, resilience and adaptability of the people trying to survive for years in those harsh jungle conditions was painfully sobering.

Now, nearly 50 years on, Vietnam and Cambodia are still recovering from their barbaric past and continue to grapple with poverty and inequality. They don’t have political freedom and still live in an environment of repression and fear. In many ways, they are still grappling with its dark time and the psychological trauma experienced by survivors and their families. In fact, many Vietnamese locals are reluctant to talk about the American War, and today Cambodian schoolchildren learn only a cursory overview of the Khmer Rouge years. Although education is free for Cambodian children, you still see parents sending them out to work selling trinkets and food to tourists. 
 
You don’t visit these places for enjoyment or pleasure. You visit them to remember, to learn, and maybe grow more towards responsible activism and compassion. I don’t want my travel to be a boomerang dropping me off right where I started, disguising it in a narrative about how I am seeing edifying things—with the photos to prove it.  

But if one usually avoids museums, then suddenly seek them out for the purpose of experiencing a change, what are you going to make of the exhibits? You might as well be in a room full of Hersey Bars. If you are going to see something you neither value nor aspire to value, you are not doing much of anything besides locomoting. It’s locomotion all the way down. 

If travel (not an welcome escape vacation), is merely the pursuit of unchanging change, embracing nothing, you might as well use your passport as a coaster or to level wobbly table legs. 
Filed Under: Blog

Unwrapping Christmas: Ultimate Holiday Decorating Tips

November 19, 2024 by

I’ve been visiting trade shows across the country, attending trend talks galore, chatting with other decorating experts, and basically scouring every corner of the internet. All to bring you the latest Christmas décor tips.

Holiday decorating is, well, an art, as well as a fantastic opportunity to have me over to do it.

The line between tacky and tasteful can be an awfully thin one and blurred by personal opinion, so I’m not judging (much). I mean, what kind of cold-hearted zealot tries to restrain the exuberant joy of Christmas through good taste? I mean, if the spirit is moving you to hang a Christmas-themed Elvis black velvet painting (with blinking lights), I won’t stop you. 

Over the years, I have seen some take holiday decorating to new seasonal heights, most looking like a glowing snow globe has thrown up.Over-the-top yuletide enthusiasm is commendable, but exhibiting excessive and overly colourful outdoor decorations can be like wrapping a house in a “cringe-worthy Christmas sweater”, as well as traumatizing your neighbours. 

But just Ho-ho-hold up a minute. You don’t want to be a total Scrooge. A little can go a long way if you do it right. And I’m here to help.

1. Grinchmas

All that glitters is not gold (and is now stuck on everything you own).

What can start out as a small piece of seasonal decor here and there, can easily escalate and feel like something out of Christmas Vacation. 

‘Tis the season for giving…away your cacophony of tacky decorations. Go all KonMari and decorate with Only Things That Provoke Joy. Just because you have it, doesn’t mean you should put it all out. No more than 10, please.

For an elegant, sophisticated holiday style, keep the gaudy glory of decorations and Christmas propanganda door signs to a minimum. If the decor is done right, then everyone should know what time of year it is

2. Yuletide Your Way

Outdoor holiday decor has really blown up over the last decade. We all know the drill. As soon as winter rolls around, the lawn inflatables come out. Embracing their inner Clark Griswold, up goes the 10-foot tall dancing polar bears, a giant Santa impersonator on the roof, and Frosty casting his candy cane to the heavens as a sacrifice to the Sugar God. 

Then Snowmen, The Grinch, and the ubiquous red-nosed majestic stag. And some people think they need to get an entire herd. I’m sure this can be resolved with a few therapy sessions.

Instead place one or two large eye-catching pieces like a festive door wreath, a green garland draped around the door or stair railing, a couple of large lanterns, or urns laden with evergreen boughs and branches.

 

3. Blame it on the mistletoe

Decorating the mantle is simply the icing on the fruitcake. Drape fresh or faux garland across the fireplace mantle along with pine cones, battery-operated candles and a few Christmas balls to give instant animation. Less can be more. And please, no Elf’s-On-A-Shelf, designed to strike fear into the hearts of man and all small children. 

4. Stockings hung with care

Ahhh, Christmas stockings never get old, even if we do. Or sentimental tree decorations.

Urban legend has it that I bought the top of the tree ornament at the corner liquor store. It was a green felt tree puppet. It has long lost it’s pom-pom nose and one leg, nevertheless, he still performs his holiday duties with aplomb. 

5. Cuddle up, cozy down

For years people have been hemorrhaging Christmas holiday-themed items and spreading them throughout their home during the holidays. Filling them, stacking them, layering them. One or two could be tasteful, but too many feel as if we have stumbled upon three estate sales happening at once.

There is just something odd about people buying pillows shaped like Santa’s head. (A healthy amount of criticism of one’s self and the government makes the world go around.)Instead, showcase vignettes of coziness with chunky, textured wool throws, fluffy pillows, or touches of fur layered placed strategically throughout your home. It’s like a divorce. You’re trading them in for younger models. It can make you want to curl up and stay for a while. Resistance is futile.

6. Blinded by the lights

Since electricity was invented, people have been intrigued with twinkling and coloured lights. Year after year, people lose their minds and make Christmas lights into their entire personalities. If so, chances are, you’ll get a handwritten thank-you note from your local electric company every January.

But no one’s house should be seen from space.

For my money, I vote for warm white fairy lights, instead of those frenzied flashing and multi-coloured lights possibly scrouged from the bottom of the rack at Wal-Mart several years in a row. They burn people’s corneas just looking at them.

By the way, if you compete with your neighbours over who has the most outdoor lights, maybe this year  you should cede the award.

 

7. Have the right size tree.

As much as you may want that Hallmark movie look, an oversized Christmas tree can be overwhelming.  It’s hard for the tree not to be the focal point, so it also shouldn’t be too large for the room, impede a traffic path or conceal the liquor cabinet.

Then there is the coloured fake Christmas tree. I do not get it. They do not exist in real life. But yet, is Santa real? I know I’m walking right into that one.

And no tinsel. If you’re wondering what tinsel is, you must be pretty young, but those of us born in the early 1900’s know it as those flimsy plastic streamers that shine on Christmas trees. It’s all just so bad and belongs in the garbage can along with the potato peels. It just makes me want to drown myself in eggnog.



8. Baby, it’s cold outside.  

After you’ve finished decorating (or hired me) to suit your grown-up Christmas wish, reward yourself. A couple glasses of mulled wine and chocolate should do the trick. Merry Christmas to you!
Filed Under: Blog

Flash of Lightning – Gratitude

October 12, 2024 by

We are in the season of gratitude and thank goodness for that. 

“Count your blessings” is an age-old bromide, the stuff of greeting cards, and is sometimes a hard sell, especially when things aren’t going so great. Our mixed grill of messy character defects, jealousies and spitefulness, greedy-grabbies, melting ice caps, how thin our lashes are getting, and running out of single-origin Nicaraguan decaf coffee beans.

Flash of lightning. Clap of thunder. Enter Gratitude.

If there’s a day on which Gratitude is splashed all over social media and on Etsy wooden plaques, surely it’s Thanksgiving. But Thanksgiving shouldn’t have the market cornered on giving thanks.

Gratitude is an interesting concept. It’s one of those qualities that everyone accepts you should do, but rarely do. Basically because we are often like little chemistry experiments, reacting everywhere we go. But the benefits that showing and feeling gratitude should not be reserved only for the day it’s most culturally expressed.

“As we express our our gratitude, we must never forget that the highest appreciation is not other words, but to live by them.” -John F. Kennedy 

To be clear, and I may be preaching to the choir, I’m not saying that taking time to reflect and show appreciation for the good in life on Thanksgiving isn’t worthwhile, it’s surely a noble act. I love the rhythms, rituals and respite as much as anyone, it’s just that the very things that make the cornucopia of Thanksgiving so wonderful — the presence of family and friends, time off from work, and grateful that the meal is not salt beef, biscuits and mushy peas like the first Canadian Thanksgiving in 1578, (Martin Frobisher, I’m looking at you)—should not have purposeful expressions of gratitude only on this day. 

So, enjoy the congregational company of other people — a live Russian roulette of strange cousins, people you haven’t seen since you were six, an aunt who has an unique way of expressing herself sartorially, or your recently divorced uncle’s new girlfriend.

Remember, Thanksgiving wouldn’t be a holiday meal without a little emotional scarring. And I mean this in the nicest possible way.

“After a good dinner, one can forgive anybody, even one’s own relations.” -Oscar Wilde

We are supposed to gather, support one another, and relax. Yet on the other 364 days of the year, the ones when we might feel lonely, stressed, over-caffeinated—pausing to cultivate a sense of gratitude can make a big difference.

Giving thanks on all the other days can help ensure that in the future you’ll have many things to be grateful for because expressing gratitude acts as a kind of course correction, easing away our minds inculcated to see the wine glass as half empty. (Probably because we drank half of it.)

Gratitude does not mean Pollyanna sugar-coating the sadness, frustrations, and disappointments of life, pretending all is fine. But expressing a little gratitude offers a recess, like water to a soul. All evidence to the contrary, it doesn’t require much of anything. It’s a choice and costs nothing, except conscious attention and habit of often just ornate ordinary moments—and sometimes, these are the most important moments.   

People who are consistently grateful are relatively happier, more energetic, and report experiencing a compelling desire to host Thanksgiving dinner—for the seventh year in a row.

“Nobody sees a flower really. It is so small. We haven’t time, and to see takes time.” -Georgia O’Keefe                                                                         

Take a walk. A hike. A trek.
(Well, maybe not a trek.) Put on your chunky cable-knit sweater, a scarf forged in the fires of Anthropologie, comfortable underpants and sensible shoes, leg warmers, wrist warmers, and forehead warmers, and be astonished by the world. You can remember everything that is true and beautiful about life on any 30-minute walk in the city, in the country, among trees. Enjoy the views and the sacrament of dawdle, the mantle of maturity. 

Dallying—now that’s the key. Then go home and take a nap.  

“Be joyful, though you have considered all the facts.” -Wendell Berry

Appreciate Yourself
Put on a better pair of glasses and say five good things to yourself first thing every morning as Anne Lamont quips “as if you were somebody you are fond of and wish to encourage.” Note: try to do this before checking your phone. 

“Some people coud look at a mud puddle and see an ocean with ships.” -Zora Neale Hurston                                                                                           

Start a Gratitude Journal
Write five things you are grateful for before going to bed. It is an incredibly small exercise—and sometimes incredibly hard, especially on those days when Uber Eats forgets to include one of the major items in your sandwich. It is doesn’t have to be great big huge—someone waved your car through backed up traffic, the customer in line allowed you to go ahead of them, your best friend texted you to see if they can drop off some not-dark chocolate. 

“I always prefer to believe the best of everybody; it saves so much trouble.” -Rudyard Kipling                                                                

Tweak how we speak and think. 
What we think and say, are things we mostly focus on. If we always talk about how bad a day we’ve had, how annoyed so-and-so and how such-and-such made us feel, this will inevitably make us soiled and smudged, bringing up even more feelings of irritation. Down that road, lies madness. Pay more heed to the loveliness of people, rather than the crankiness of people. We don’t have that kind of time to waste in our “one wild and precious life”. 

“Almost everything will work again if you unplug it for a few minutes—including you.” -Anne Lamont                                                                      

Do something for someone else.
Sometimes we are just tapped out. When this happens we need to loosen our waistband and get out of our head. The best way to do this is by focusing on someone else and doing something else. Pick up litter. Hold the door open for someone. Buy someone a coffee. Take blankets that you haven’t used in five years and drive them to the Mustard Seed. Something helpful. Something useful. Something kind. Something you can actually do.

I know the Dalai Lama is a big fan.

“Do not do unto others as you would have them do unto you; they may have very different tastes.” – Bernard Shaw                                               

Say “Thank you” more often.
Saying “Thank you” is a basic block of polite society, one of the only things that separates us from squirrels. But often it is just a club password and not very meaningful. It’s not enough to simply feel grateful, we must express it as well. People aren’t mind readers. Don’t assume they know we are grateful. Try making a habit of a “Thank you” as the first and last email, text, or phone call of each day, and make it specific. 

“Too much of anything is bad, but too much good whiskey is barely enough.” -Mark Twain                                                                             
Savour positive moments. 
It’s a mindset, slowing down, being present, savoring the moment. Forget slurping a pumpkin spice latte looking at your phone. Sit down somewhere cozy. Nibble a delicious cookie. Look around.
When success comes, really take the time to celebrate it. Any celebration, big or small, is really about taking a beat to notice the good stuff, a reminder of our talents and abilities, skills and persistence.
(All I know is that champagne is never a mistake.)

“There are three things I’ve learned never to discuss with people: religion, politics, and the Great Pumpkin.” -Lucy, It’s the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown                                                                                                                        

Pay attention.
When you meet with another person, give them your undivided attention, even if they are talking about municipal zoning ordinances. Stop consulting the oracle of your iPhone, unless you are eagerly waiting to hear that they’ve procured an organ for your impending transplant. At the very least, the act of gratitude produces significant epigenetic changes in our health and body—and we just might be healing others along the way, keeping the whole shebang afloat.

We have a choice on what to focus on—the things that suck, or robins and sticky buns?

By the way, if anyone is alone on Thanksgiving, let me know. I need to borrow some chairs.
Filed Under: Blog

Roads I have known and loved

September 6, 2024 by

One of the simplest rules of life is to keep moving.

Every now and then, it’s nice to venture out and find what’s going on in the real world. Summer is technically over. But there is still time before we’re knee deep in snow and ice. 
The open road beckons. To just go. To collect oneself. To be disencumbered. Questing.
Yes, you have to be happy in your own kitchen, but there are also times when it is good to get out of the kitchen, especially when there’s nothing for dinner. 
There are many reasons to say yes to a semi-peripatetic adventure. I believe Socrates called this “The Creative Process.”
My first step was to figure out what to wear. In other words, to maintain my own personal style, which if overheard mutterings are to be believed, often is known to defy description. But nothing adds intrigue quite like a soot coloured vintage garment with far too many miscellaneous stains on it.
Believe me, it makes quite a statement. My benchmark – consistency.
Setting out, I am always driven by the hope that I might see or hear something I’ve never seen or heard before. To furl a bit of rope. To escape, if only for a short while, the deadening quality of Netflix reruns.
Travelling alone allows me to be as insufferable as I like, boring only myself with maps (which I can’t read anyway) and dirt roads. It allows me to be as antisocial and ornery as I want to be. Or more than usual. 
I am free of the need to entertain or converse, apologize for the weather or the frigid lake water. As if it was my fault. 
I’m “The Emirates Effect” companion for myself, as I don’t argue with myself and I don’t disagree. We’ve grown to enjoy each other’s company with vibrancy and care, although sometimes it’s a breeding ground for competition. In other words, a very arousing person with a cache of exhilarating stories to tell anyone who will listen, always making sure to tell the story from my point of view. 
Secondly, I am free to ignore street signs and landmarks, double-dip in the guacamole, and can sing to my favourite tunes with no one asking to change the playlist or to please stop singing. It’s cathartic.

My mind is no longer on guard, mostly occupied with staying on my side of the road while holding my lidless coffee that I have no choice but to spill.
Historically I have missed more turn-offs than many have had opportunities. Squinting at my navigation system, it stares back at me like a threat. I realized what a traitor it can be. On top of that, knowing my drive would be improved by listening to an audiobook, I was confounded by my inability to follow the plot, putting this down to my advancing years. It was only when I stopped for gas that I realized it was on “shuffle” mode.
Nonetheless, solo travel does have its baggage. One, it gives you ample time to consider what you need to work on to improve as a person. And who needs that? 
And two – there often is bad Wi-fi, the chance of getting attacked by bandits, and a deep longing for fresher Cheetos.
People ask me all the time – don’t you ever get lonely travelling by yourself? 
No, not really. I’ve never had a bout of loneliness that lasted more than a few years. Also, in a world of seven billion people, you’re going to talk to someone you connect with eventually. 
Filed Under: Blog

Where to Get Rid of Stuff

August 30, 2024 by

The gift economy—a system whereby goods are not sold but given away—has been around for as long as we’ve had things.

The reasons for donating are manifold, ranging from the goodness of your heart to the benefit of selling a home quickly.

And the best way to get rid of things you don’t need, is to get rid of things you don’t need.

Altruism can often feel much better than the hassle of trying to sell stuff. You could probably make more money per hour by babysitting. And having a garage sale is a testament to the hours of preparation it takes to make $35. 

Stuff like mauve ruffled bedskirts. Tiny pillows with tassels. Letters that include details of your sister’s weight-loss journey. Spray starch left over from a former relationship. Souvenir dishtowels. Ill fitting bathing suits.  A bewildering range of skin care products.  

As you surely have heard, the younger generations have little  interest in inheriting the loot amassed by their baby-boomer parents. Silver, crystal, fondue sets, avocado slicers, partially consumed tub of cheese balls, nine-foot-tall toy giraffes you won at the Calgary Stampede—they want none of it. 

Finding new homes for your stuff can be a challenge. So where can all of this go? 

Mattresses
The environmental impact of hauling an old mattress to the dump is substantial.  It takes years for a mattress in a landfill to decompose, or else it’s burned, which is equally bad for the planet. Rest easy and take  old mattresses and futons to Re-Matt.

Bits and Bobs 
Tricky Trash, will take away the stuff you can’t give away — old batteries, old paint, expired medications, used razors — and make sure they’re delivered to the proper processing centre or recycler. Tricky Trash supplies you with a “Bits, Bobs, and Batteries” box, and, once full, takes it away  on an electic bike for a $5 collection fee .

Books
If you don’t have the patience to sell your books to a reseller like Fair’s Fair or Pages, Books Between Friends will take your books off your hands. it’s a volunteer-run bookstore that gives profits to a variety of charitable organizations.  Or stock some of the many Little Free Libraries scattered throughout Calgary.

Craft and Sewing Supplies
From that unfinished quilt project to extra fabric to 
the sewing machine gathering dust, the Ujamaa Grandmas Fabric and Yarn Sale will gladly take it for their annual spring fundraiser for the Stephen Lewis Foundation Grandmothers to Grandmothers campaign. I

Ikea Furniture
IKEA now has a sell-back program: you email them pictures and they email you back with what it’s worth in store credit. Note that the item needs to be brought into the store fully assembled — although not very convenient if you don’t own a truck.

Electronics
Electronic Recycling Association will take  old electronics, and either fix, recycle or donate them to schools and charities in need. As part of a pilot project with Alberta Recycling Management Authority, The City of Calgary will also accept most anything with a power cord or battery — free of charge. 

Clothing and Household Items
Donate to an organization like The Kidney Foundationor Diabetes Canada which sells cast-offs to Value Village and uses the proceeds for research. They’ll even come pick the stuff up. Investigate your charity well and put your items where they will do the most good. Two organizations to look into are WINS and Dress for Success, which both help women grow in our community.
Filed Under: Blog
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