Over the years, “organized”, seemed to be my most defining characteristic. Like I was a minor celebrity with this one claim to fame. In fact, some might say, I am extraordinarily well-organized.

For example, if you wanted to know where my Allen key is, I could tell you. In the attic, in an orange shoe box labelled “Allen Key”, third from the left, second row from the back, behind the cardboard boxes and bags of baby clothes to be given away someday.

Some of us continue to struggle with the problem of too much stuff…sleeping in a box. Grazing on the shelves. Camped in the closet. Crammed under a bed.    We hang on to it, showing desultory interest, vowing to “someday” deal with the clutter. Someday. High on optimism, low on reality. Every so often we ask ourselves, “Why are these things still around?”, “Why haven’t I gotten rid of them?”, and “Should I still be swiping on dating apps?” Then one day, we realize:I made this in summer camp when I was ten.I’m not into diatonic harmonicas or egg cups with tiny squirrels along the top anymore.I can’t wear this shoe without it’s mate.My cat is scared of it.The mold on the paper makes it too hard to read.This treadmill is just too exhausting.I’m sure I will use that Q-tip one day.I will never grown basil in that window box.There’s too much dust on it to know what is.This table is not “distressed”, it’s screaming for help.I don’t want to, which is the best reason not to do a lot of things.

Excess is the sign of fear of scarcity. Holding onto things can also be a way of keeping our spirits up and having a sense of control when faced with uncertainties, angst, and emotional trauma, such as this pandemic-fuelled exodus.

Being sequestered in our home for the last 756,659 days, means that clutter built up over the years is now probably constantly in view, or else falling out when we open our closet doors.

In these past few months, we have become at one with our homes, and realized that things we’d been putting up for years would no longer do, especially now that we had to deal with them multiple times a day. Or look for them.

By the way, if someone doesn’t invent a prototype during this quarantine for a see-through toaster so we can see when the toast is toasted, then honestly…

We are more comfortable with predictability and what we know, and it’s stressful to be in a situation of restraint in our homes and our lives.

It is so much easier doing the same thing over and over, even when it no longer serves us, is making us miserable, or is not getting us closer to our goal. We get attached to the way we do things, and to the things we have.

When we align ourselves with the counter-cultural approach of less, we alleve ourselves from the constant tugging of the pursuit of more.

But when we finally do get around to the non-delegation of decluttering, there will literally be a physical change in us. It’s like a release of pent-up frustration and there’s real freedom in that. It will truly be a breath of fresh air.

Okay, I have to run now.

Ummm…I forgot. 

Okay, I’ll just go catch up on chores by laundering all my sneakers.
 

Welcome to the summer of 2020, virtual and distanced – still. There is no substitute for face-to-face interaction. But we have to find comfort where we can, and since mid-March, it has been mostly with, and inside our home.   But really, most of us were probably spending time with some people for no truly identifiable reason – and not spending enough time putting socks back into pairs. Our concept of home as sanctuary changed overnight via the pandemic hit. What we once considered as normal home time, abruptly altered. So, as always, new circumstances create new challenges. On top of that, our home, once considered a refuge from the world, now offered little solace from the social, economic and political unrest raging around the globe. Whereas once we railed against FOMO, Fear of Missing Out, we were now forced to instantaneously shift to FOGO, Fear of Getting Out.  Now, more than ever, we needed a soothing, calming haven, a bulwark against the uncertainties and upheavals of the outside world.   Fortunately for me, I rolled into this scary pandemic without much of a social life, so my strategy so far has been to continue not having much of a social life. It’s been a pretty smooth transition. I also had no idea how much Tupperware had been missing from my life.   But the most disorienting thing of all, is that our home now has to serve so many purposes and activities…Zoom calls, reading and thinking space, hours on the computer, homeschooling, children underfoot, a yoga and exercise studio, Doritos and wine storage…the list goes on. We have to now balance activity with privacy and introspection.  How do we do this?   Number One: The best way, and for purposes of historical clarity, is to rearrange and/or eliminate pieces of non-essential furniture and belongings for instant, easy access to more space for living and working every day. (Look for this extremely long sentence to be emblazoned on T-shirts everywhere.) What really matters is whether it’s just enough (and not too much) for you. Determine your list of “must-haves”, then narrow down your stuff to match it.  Most of what we think we want is superfluous. Really, our needs are remarkably simple. In other words, when things aren’t adding up in life, start subtracting.   Number Two: An intelligent use of mirrors can make any room feel larger than its physical dimensions, bringing in more light, and maybe even reflecting the outdoors.   Number Three: Large landscape paintings or photographs can offer virtual windows within otherwise boxed-in places.

Number Four: Lighting. Light and its shadows reflect moods, and are achieved with the mindful placement of dimmable light fixtures and lamps focused on walls, ceilings and surfaces, spreading and softening light, without the harsh glare. For example, a floor or table lamp pooling soft light beside a comfortable armchair, is a refuge from sensory and mental overload. Number Five: Practice social distancing from the refrigerator and overcoming the pull of carbohydrates.  To be a true sanctuary and ally, make your home as personal as possible. Do what works for you and what you love. And make space for your new hobbies. Like screaming into a pillow.  While the latest (white and grey!) trend may be visually stunning, don’t necessarily adopt it and others wholesale. Think if it reflects your character, values, and cleaning cravings.  Believe in yourself, despite all evidence to the contrary. Home should be a place that reflects and serves who you genuinely are and how you want to live.  Keep your eye on the prize, accept things as they are, and apply what you’ve learned over the years from watching mobster shows and movies.

Miss Piggy Mantras That Everyone Should Follow

As the old saying goes, never work with children, animals, stem cells, or distressed tables. Well, I have worked with some of them and have a nervous tic to prove it.My career in interior design continues, but the last few years have also given way to intermittently write about interior design, because as Shakespeare once said, “the pen is mightier than the paint palette”. Life has a wonderful way of chucking opportunities at you, generally when you’re at your most hungover, and you’d be mad to pass them by. And I plan to continue writing even more whenever I can find the appropriate writing attire and colour-coordinated pens.

Just as Architectural Digest has been my muse magazine for decades, Miss Piggy, the most independent and inspirational pig I know, has served as model and guiding genius for just as long.

As some background, Miss Piggy grew up as a pulchritudinous pig on a farm in Hog Springs, Iowa. Her father died in a tragic tractor accident when she was young, and her mother wasn’t that nice to her. She had to enter beauty contests to survive, as many single women do…and she was forced to pose for ads. Including one for bacon. It’s a time that she prefers not to speak of, although she insists that she never took her clothes off for a job.  She does thank her parents for giving her bus fare. Otherwise she still would be living on the farm. Her words of wisdom are sharp and to-the-point. In all honesty, can anyone really ignore Miss Piggy’s epicurean deportment, astute observations and point-on advice?

Like some of us, she admits that there was a time when she wafted in the winds of every trend. And like us, it resulted in some extremely unfortunate run-ins and cringe-worthy mistakes. Tile countertops, rag-rolled/stencilled/sponged walls and furniture, wood panelling, carpeted bathrooms, popcorn ceilings, screen doors, heavy drapery, wallpaper borders, mirrored walls, ruffly floral bedding, fake floral arrangements, futons and…”slightly more masculine faucets”, which is a phrase I heard on HGTV and had to save for reasons I can’t yet fully convey.

Some may shudder at these, and others wonder why they are on the “Bad Design Trends” list, but you can take solace with Miss Piggy’s dictum, saying if you’re happy with how it looks, don’t worry about pleasing others— because it’s not as if their opinion actually matters.

Taken with pound of salt, I remind myself that she started the unenduring trend of pink. Not only does she wear pink most of the time, but can honestly say she’s been pink since the day she was born.

Sometimes when doing a project I question myself, but then I remember her astute words: “Style comes in all shapes and sizes. Style is about expressing your inner self, capturing ethos, and most importantly, spending someone else’s money.” And to use a lot of French phrases, like “moi”.

As an aside, if I had to choose one style icon besides Miss Piggy, I’d have to say Audrey Hepburn. Not only did she look good in pearls, but she also came up with the fabulous idea of having breakfast at Tiffany’s. Without her, I never would have thought of having meals in a jewelry store.

Piggy has always believed in highlighting her best features by any means possible. Transposed to a house, this could be large windows, a great view, stupendous fireplace, high ceilings, an antique chandelier —whatever you want, you can achieve with the right orientation, good lighting, and when all else fails, post-production design help.

Miss Piggy is never one for being part of the crowd: “I am a pig. And as a pig, I have always stood out.”

So know your strengths, likes and dislikes, and go “Fabulousity with a dash of irresistibility and a great big dollop of attitude. True glamorositude.”

Like Miss Piggy, I am often asked if it Is it better to give or to receive. From personal experience, moi has learned that it is better to receive. But for the sake of appearances, I’d have to say it’s better to give – my opinions, my colour choices, and my phone number.

Like Miss P., I’m quick, I’m intelligent, I’m curious, I’m inspiring, I’m strong — look at those muscles! — and I’ve got a sense of humour and a passion for moving things up and down stairs. And I’m uniquely fashion-forward.

As moi says, “Designer, de better.”

Most successful blogs have a memorable beginning, a big finish, and not much in between, reminding me of a commencement speech given by humorist Art Buchwald at Georgetown University.He said, “Graduates, we the older generation are leaving you a perfect world, so don’t louse it up.”  And then he sat down. Given I have had a lifelong love of listening to my own voice, I propose to fill up the middle part, but you are welcome to skip to the big finish if you’re in a hurry. Today, I’d like to talk about the importance of staring out the window and doing nothing – except maybe chatting to your cat and the occasional inanimate object, or thinking about not doing sit-ups, or wondering what you are going to eat next  …and chairs.

Henry David Thoreau at Waldon Pond had 3 chairs: one for solitude, two for friendship, and three for society.  He was prepared for sitting. Not sitting and doing something. But just sitting – in silence and solitude. Which, most of us are probably getting quite good at, or very tired of, about now.

We tend to reproach ourselves or others for staring out the window. We are supposed to be working, on ZOOM calls, or organizing our wine bottles in alphabetical order. In other words, GettingThingsDone.  Staring off into space seems the definition of wasted time and purposeless, producing nothing concrete. We tend to equate it with boredom, laziness, and futility.

The Dutch call this staring off into space, “niksen”, which closely translates as “nothing-ing”. But niksen means being intentional about doing nothing. You must be idle, just be. Our hyper-busy, striving, work-consumed culture does not generally condone, nor praise or encourage, daydreaming. Practising “nothing-ing” has been shown to enhance imagination and creativity, gain clarity, restore, make us calmer and more productive, and maybe less judgmental when your partner doesn’t vacuum all of the dog hair off the couch. Niksen may sound easy at first glance (it’s not), but I want to make the argument that you can be more successful at it if you are sitting in a great chair.  (It’s not really an argument, I just wanted to talk about chairs, and I couldn’t think of another way in.)

As far as I’m concerned, there are really are two important decisions in a person’s life: choosing a mate and buying a comfortable chair. If that seems like an overstatement, you just haven’t found the right mate.

Writer/diarist May Sarton spent her life writing, presumably in a chair, maintains that any house that does not have at least one comfy chair, is soulless. The Shakers would add to this, given their design dictum is “Do not make something unless it is both necessary and useful; but if it is both necessary and useful; do not hesitate to make it beautiful.”

When we call a chair beautiful, really what we’re saying is that we like the way of life it is suggesting to us. It has an attitude to which we are attracted to: if it was magically turned into a person, we’d like who it was.

A good chair should and can, embody a lot in one small package: engineering, beauty, materials, practicality, but most of all, imagination. Nothing pulls at the heartstrings and hamstrings more than a good chair. More than the marriage of form and function, it can rise to the level of art. Some of the most iconic chairs indeed, stand the test of time, but some are not all that comfortable. Which is why one should take this information sitting down. Most famously, the Hans Wegner “Papa Bear” chair is said to be “The Most Comfortable” by a long shot. It is an absolute perfect cradle. Once you sit in it, you may never want to get up.

Then there is the infamous Le Corbusier “Grand Confort” which was presented in 1929 at the Salon ‘Automne in Paris. It is as beautiful today as it ever was – essentially a throne for regular people.

My all time favourite is Saarinen’s Womb Chair designed in 1948. It has such a sense of sanctuary, security and glamour. Light and luxurious. On my Christmas list since 1948.

Arne Jacobsen’s ‘Egg” chair (1958), another fav, is a cosy cocoon of privacy, said to be inspired by Saarinen’s “Womb chair”. 

The Eames “LCW” (Lounge Chair Wood) is the iPhone of design. The chair world was never the same after Ray and Charles Eames put this on the market. Iconic – sexy, stylish and comfortable. If there was if there were a “Tolkien-esque “one chair to rule them all,” it would be the Eames Lounger – a cross between a baseball mitt and a bed.

And the Repos chair developed by Vitra and Antonio Citterio (2011). It is supreme swivelling, helping you with the harsh demands of gravity for your morning latte and not pondering life’s intricacies.

I would be remiss if I did not include IKEAS’s best selling iconic Poäng Chair, celebrating its 40th birthday this year. If anyone has not bought, seen, sat in, or passed on one of these chairs, they have been living under a rock, because over 1.5 million are sold annually. It even has its very own emoticon.

So in conclusion, to live your best life, nik regularly without intention – and in a good chair. 

The End. 

“Every act of kindness, every act of goodness, now matters more than you ever thought it mattered before. You turn yourself into an active agent of change, because now it matters.” – Carolyn Myss
 

This is a message that cannot be divorced from this moment in time when we are mourning what Lee Pelton, President of Emerson College, calls “the legalized lynching” of George Floyd. 

This moment is about complicity in systemIc racism that we have always been aware of and haven’t done enough about.

“We’ve got to be as clear-headed about human beings as possible, because we are still each other’s only hope.”  – James Baldwin

The term “upstander” (as opposed to bystander), was coined in 2002 by Samantha Power, who was at the time a human rights advocate and scholar before assuming a role as U.S. Ambassador to the United Nations, in speaking out against genocide.

Respected primatologist, Dr. Jane Goodall is an upstander. She has committed to (via replanting or restoration) 5 million trees this year as part of the 1 Trillion Tree Campaign of UNEP.  At age 85, she is not slowing down because she knows, and has always known, that there is power in every single person doing their part to make the planet a better place.

Although thankfully most of us have probably never even been close to being a victim or perpetrator of genocide, we don’t need the atrocity of genocide to weigh in on whether we can or should help others. 

“An upstander is a person who recognizes injustice, knows their personal strengths,  and uses those strengths to create change.”                                                                   – Canadian Museum for Human Rights

An upstander may speak out publicly against bigotry and injustice.

elson Mandala Exhibit – Canadian Humans Rights Museum

An upstander may help or rescue others through secret or overt actions.

Window washers at the Alberta Children’s Hospital, Calgary

An upstander may provide immediate aid to victims of bigotry and injustice through physical rescue or other help.

1969, when black Americans were still prevented from swimming alongside white Americans.  – Mr. Rogers Neighborhood

An upstander may be a whistle-blower who exposes wrongdoing.

Statue of Mahatma Gandhi in Honolulu, Hawaii

An upstander may resist the temptations of silence and passivity by expressing and offering support directly to victims of bigotry and injustice.

National Civil Rights Museum in Memphis, Tennessee

Discernment is key to every wisdom tradition.  The ability to discern is about sorting out the stuff of life — our experiences, the people we spend time with, and as Toni Morrison writes, eliminating a vacuum where curiosity ought to lodge.  We can ask ourselves: Is this my problem or does it belong to someone else?Is this life-giving for me and those around me or is it death-dealing in ways small or large?Is this something to which I can give myself or must I let it go?

Either do something or do something.  Theodore Roosevelt said that in any moment of decision, the best thing you can do is the right thing, the next best thing is the wrong thing, and the worst thing you can do is nothing. You don’t always need a plan. Sometimes you just need to breathe and put your feelers out. Trust. Let go. And see what happens.

You can’t do it all,  but you can do all that you can do.

We don’t need special gifts or start a mini-revolution to make a difference. It doesn’t have to be great big huge – it can be very small. Just a little bit every day.

Even if it’s something like praying for someone every day.  That is good enough.  Leaving a  pie left on a front porch. That is good enough.  Even the smallest act can make a real difference in somebody’s life.There are many lanes. Are we too busy to cheer a weary soul, give some words of reassurance, or the gift of our welcoming ear? Sr. Simone Campbell, lawyer, nun, poet, and a bit of a religious rock star as the face of the “Nuns on the Bus”, calls this “the walking willing.”

“Our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter.”  – Martin Luther King

If we say we don’t have time for things that matter, then we need to stop doing things that don’t. Actions are always louder than words. And so are non-actions. Because if you aim at nothing, you’ll hit it every time.

“We cannot talk about change, we have to be about change.” – L.A. City Council President Nury Martinez

The most important question now is: What are you going to do?

The other day, I was on my walk and it’s raining. Not enough to absolutely need an umbrella, just a constant drizzle that dripped down my hoodie, dampened my mood, and coated my glasses, making things look just a little bit better than they should have been.Just ahead of me, a man stepped out of his building, looked up with a squint, and put his palm out. He stopped me.“Excuse me,” he said. “Is it supposed to be raining today?”“No, it wasn’t supposed to be,” I told him. “But it is.”He nodded, thanked me, and went back inside. Maybe to stay inside, maybe to get an umbrella. Maybe to put on a tux and howl at the refrigerator. I don’t know what the guy does when it rains.

Humans! We look out our windows, and then check our phone app and other humans to verify – “Is what’s happening supposed to be happening?”

As if we could lodge a complaint with The Sky for not coordinating itself with The Weather Channel.


Supposed to…

“Is this bread dough supposed to be turning a yellowish-grey and crumbling?”

“Are we supposed to be working out? It looks exhausting.”

“Am I supposed to be extremely lazy?”

“Is the kitchen, living room and backyard supposed to be the cafe, meeting space, and boardroom?”

“Are you supposed to be able to put your legs behind your head while eating a cupcake?”

We love to be told what we already know.

This is actually a godsend for anyone that makes a living telling people what they already know. Or are supposed to.
 

• That a colour scheme based on mottled liver is not the best choice.
• That sweatpants are the new black. 
• That a snack every three minutes may soon have you on an episode of My 600-lb Life. 
• That your glasses are under the pillow because you fell asleep with them on.
• That scrolling through Instagram is code for procrastination.
• That having full blown conversations with inanimate objects while maybe muted on ZOOM, may not be the best idea.
• That it’s alright to adapt airport rules and have a drink at 9 a.m.

This is great because we don’t have to deliver brand new information every time. We don’t have to come up with another interpretation, create an complex process, or invent a reason why their brownies aren’t rising. Or that 2020 hasn’t been the easiest year.

All we have to do is tell people what we know. And do it in our own way. 

We can tell people what they’ve heard before, what’s staring them right in the face. Literally. There is rain falling on their head, and they want to know, “Is it raining?”

Yesterday I bought a 20 kg bag of flour for $14.99 because it was a good deal. Then I had to order a $50 storage bin to hold it so it wouldn’t spoil. I guess what I’m saying is, I suppose I may not be the best person to hand out information.

You probably knew this. But you wanted me to tell you, right?



Excuse me, but I’m getting ready to not go out. It’s raining.

P.S. Remember, Rapunzel was quarantined and met her future husband, so let’s think positive here.
 

Encompassed with an ever-encroaching case of quarantine brain, I have been spending an inordinate amount of time trolling the internet looking for topic ideas, as my goal is to keep you reasonably happy and under control so we can get on with things. I found one article entitled, “7 Ways to Come Up With Ideas When You Have Nothing to Write About”, but so far all I have come up with is the best ear medication for parakeets, the 1997 tooth whitening epidemic, and the lucrative business of selling snake carcasses. None of which, I am guessing, is of much help. Like E.B. White said, it’s like dissecting a frog: few people are interested and the frog dies of it.

Even if I never come up with anything more stimulating than finding out who holds the world record for the most sticky notes stuck on the body in 30 seconds, I do fall asleep every night feeling my writing is making more of a difference in the world than it ever would by selling hats to iguanas or knitting wool socks for snails. Because when you’re on to something good, why not punish more?  After all, I do want to make my feelings known – and people uncomfortable.

Many say writing is a solitary journey, but I feel it really should be a public performance art done before an audience of as many people as will tolerate it. It’s difficult explaining exactly what I’m doing with my life right now, other than having strangers deliver light fixtures to sites, source king sheets online, and triple explain why there is funny coloured dust on the new countertop via FaceTime. Nevertheless, I want to talk to you about my current perplexing situation, other than where I should put the pizza box because it doesn’t fit in the fridge. Here is it. I have received militant accusations of being gossipy and a somewhat inaccurate author.

My immediate reaction was to give up my citizenship and move to Moldova (when and if they ever let us out of the house). Then I quickly realized that to do that, I would have slower internet and have to spend the rest of my life whittling spoons by a fire. And you know I hate to operate anything more mechanical than a safety pin. Besides, I heard that in Moldava, the local hangover cure is pickle juice. Not interested. But upon further research, I discovered that Moldava’s largest and most revered holiday is National Wine Day and that they want to implement something new – moderate wine consumption. On further thought, this may be my kind of country.

But back to my problem.Regardless of what some litigiousness critics say, I am deeply hurt by these charges.

Because first, as Anne Lamont quipped, if you would have behaved better, I would have spoken more warmly about you and secondly, who of you really knows how to use an ampersand?Still there? Good. I surmise that even at the best of times most people are incapable of distinguishing between last week and the extinction of dinosaurs, never mind comprehending the fact that I wasn’t born in 1607, it isn’t January 74th, or believing all the stuff that happened to me a few years back when I got kind of turned around geographically – okay, lost. Because there are some thatare a few eggs short of a full breakfast, which amplifies the effectiveness of relating the business of resonant, weird, unimportant, and milquetoast ideas (mine) that are unlikely to be found anywhere else.    It’s not like I fail to relate to others and misread social cues, because really, I’m pretty sure that I’m more than a smidge above average.

So I have decided that no matter how off-putting and altogether false these allegations are, I will continue to abide by the secret of all life skills – telling people what they should do.  “But you pretty much wrote about nothing.”, to which I say, “PRECISELY”.  Please accept my thanks in lieu of monetary gifts and have a vegan dark chocolate tonight.

The first step to take is to become aware that love is art, just as living is an art; if you want to learn how to love we must proceed in the same way we have to proceed if we want to learn any art, say music, painting, carpentry, or the art of medicine or engineering. – Eric Fromm

Over the past few weeks, some of us have developed a “pandemic personality” having to jam full lives into the cramped bubble of our apartment or house. We are found muttering passive-aggressive rhetorical questions under our breath: ”What kind of person leaves a vacuum cleaner in the middle of the kitchen?” “Who sprays bleach on a mirror?” “Does a frying pan really need to soak for three days?” “Why are you soaping down the dog every time you go for a walk?”

Hoods, Headspaces and Heartspaces

Some of us are ecstatic that we get to spend so much time together, then miserable because we’re deciding to divorce, then ecstatic that we’re going to divorce.

Cause no one signed up for a marriage where you have to rely on your spouse for bloody everything.
 

Life Between Lattes

Now add children:

On video call to boss.

Boss: “I need you to…”

(4 kids run by: one on fire, one naked, two in ski masks and capes.)

Boss: “Never mind.”
 

You wonder how long this home school thing will go on. Like, will you have to teach your kids med school?

 

You do your best, sitting in isolation for hours, keeping a safe distance from your family. You hear them outside the door, shouting words of encouragement.

Your kids – “Make us breakfast!” 

And your spouse – “GET OUT OF THE BATHROOM. YOU AREN’T SICK!”


By the way, if you are getting a little tired of seeing your family’s face every day, you could always spice things up by drawing moustaches on everyone. 
 

We now have to treat every trip for groceries as though Safeway was a beachhead in Normandy. Gas masks optional. In and out in 90 seconds (including paying for them).
 

Every day we look out the window and see the same people and the same dogs, at trees begging to bloom, at rabbits bounding free in the streets, at wispy clouds floating overhead, waiting for the day we are allowed to open our doors to a safer reality.

Sit Up Service Some of us are attempting to stay fit.  “Staying” would imply that there was a level of fitness to maintain.   Pro tip: Wake up in the morning and get right into your workout gear. That way you’ve got a much higher chance of spending your entire day in workout gear.

Breakfast-Lunch-Dinner-Sleep-Repeat

Then there are some of us who are so bored, we have started to read the back of our shampoo bottle. Yesterday, I found the booklet that came with the circular saw and for the first time in my life, read the whole thing. Not that I ever plan to use it. Then again…

Sometimes extreme boredom makes me go check the amount of toilet paper remaining and put on shoes just to see how they feel.

I also found you can tweet from the fetal position while crying.

Cave of Creativity to Paranoia Park

Barricaded in our bedrooms in front of our computers, we toy with the idea of opening a new browser to find clever ways to use dryer lint around the house, or filling a virtual cart with comfy sweat pants or clearance-priced party clothes we can’t wear anywhere.

We Zoom-meet people in squares, while judging everyone’s living room furniture, silently hoping a cat walks through a frame.

We are all still learning how this works, beginning to ask with a greater level of sincerity: “How are you?”

And if you live alone, it’s a master class in solitude.

This time Invites us to question our certainties, our givens, that have lured us into complacency.

Hopefully sharing this collective experience of non-experience will afford us a higher level of deeper compassion and respect for each other, having reciprocity as our bandwidth, working together for a greener, sustainable, and more peaceful world.

OK, time to take off my housecoat, it’s afternoon now.

Hey, who ate my breakfast Pringles?
 

There are two types of self-isolators: the type whose day care/gym/office isn’t an open all hours restaurant – and the rest of us. And I no longer have a relationship with my calendar. My days collapse one into another. Sunday morphs into Tuesday and on into Friday, the dividing lines vanish like invisible ink, Pinot Noir figuring prominently. To help paint our lives into new and challenging corners with Buddha-like patience, we need things to look forward to and things to comfort us throughout the day, so we don’t spiral out with locked down fatigue. They don’t have to be great big huge. Never discount simple, yet sublime pleasures like that first sip of hot coffee, the soft notes of mediation music played as soon as you rise, or the sun on the herbs growing in the window box, for us to become uncomplicatedly happy.

Today, what can you do for yourself to feel nourished and affirmed, to be self beneficiaries of kindness and reassurance?

Go for a long walk without purpose, preferably in nature, Let your thoughts dissipate, free up, or run wild in the almost car-free streets, with clear skies, fresh air, and a surreal quiet where you look up when you hear a rare airplane. Take a book with you and read a few chapters. Or do a little yoga and some stretches.

I don’t know about you, but I am slowly building myself up to attempt a press-up in the coming weeks.

Put on your favorite article of clothing. It could be your comfy pyjamas, yoga pants, or a sequin jacket. What’s important is that it should make you feel good about your body.

Don’t hold on to clothes that don’t reflect who you are anymore, or who you want to be. Clothes are not an indicator of your worth. If any of your clothes don’t fit well or give you pleasure when you wear them, let them go.

Get rid of old things that you don’t use or makes your heart hurt. Don’t be St. Jimmy the Indecisive, the patron saint of the wishy-washy. Not only was he tortured by doubts about God’s existence, but with what shirts to hang on to.If you have stuff in your home that make you feel worse when you see them — like birthday gifts that you never liked or mementos of an old relationship — TOSS THEM. You don’t need things like that bringing you down.

Surround yourself with things that make you feel good. Whether you stack piles of books around you, hang inspirational art, order fresh flowers, light scented candles, or keep a supply of your favourite fruit – these are simple treats that can soothe the body and soul, no matter how you look at it.P.S. Strawberry ice cream doesn’t count as a serving of fruit.  Make a playlist of the songs you jammed to from years ago or from different stages of your life  – and let the nostalgia and good vibes roll.

Print out and frame some photos of family and friends.

Having visual reminders of the people who love and care about you is a homemade comfort blanket.

Decorate your space so you actually like being there. Take good care of it – keep it clean and tidy, arrange furniture to suit how you want to live now, display items you want to see every day, and make it a place that makes you feel safe.   Make your bedroom as calm as possible. Smooth down your sheets, plump your pillows, and straighten your bedcovers.  I’ve never heard of too many blankets…layer throws and piles of pillows for the perfect nap location.

Call your person. Maybe it’s calling your parents to check in and get an instant boost, a favourite aunt, or you best friend from uni. It doesn’t even have to be a long phone call — just say hi when you have a free five minutes. Reach out to at least one person who loves and cares about you everyday. Nothing beats the reassuring intimacy of a human voice straight into the ear.

Write down a compliment you get. You’re the cat’s pyjamas! Next time someone sincerely compliments you for something or you feel proud of yourself for something, write it in your phone. You write down what groceries you need so as not to forget, so why not write down things that make you feel good too. That way when you’re feeling a little low, they are easy to access.

Take care of some plants. Water them, trim their leaves, repot them in fresh soil. It can feel empowering to nurture something, but it’s also nice to connect with nature every day, if only in a small way.It’s OK to have a romantic relationship with your plant.

Start a gratitude journal. 

We tend to focus on negative thoughts a lot more than positive ones, so you need to give yourself a moment to check in with your happier thoughts and realities.

Every day, write down 5 things for which you are grateful. One day you might just work yourself up to tens of tens, developIng appropriate gratitude for every apparently minor thing, to celebrate the transcendent beauty of the everyday.

Practice self care. 

Take 10 minutes before bed every night to put body lotion on. While doing it, try to be really intentional about it, focusing on having positive and affirming thoughts about your body.

It’s a small act of self-love, but it will make your skin feel really soft while giving your brain a mindfulness break by focusing in on the ‘here and now’. It’s a great way to prepare for bed and you might notice how good your skin/body feels after just a few days.

Linger in a bath instead of a shower. Buy bubbles that you love, or light a candle before you hop in. Reinvigorate daydreaming. Listen to an audiobook or podcast while you wallow.

It’s okay not to be okay sometimes. It’s impossible to be happy 24/7 and it’s okay not to be okay, but it’s not okay to stay that way.  Let yourself be down for a while, without demanding so much from yourself and without ignoring how you’re feeling.  Let it out, even if you need to induce a cry with a a tear-jerking movie or a sad song, giving way to sadness like when you were a child. Talk to someone you trust about what you’re feeling.   Become a friend to yourself. Apply the generosity and compassion to yourself as you do to your friends and family.   You’re only human, and you’re doing your best. This Mother’s Day, let your grief and happiness intertwine; two halves of a whole. We are all taking it one day at a time.

SEPARATED. TOGETHER.

Facing Day 738, I’m continuing to ponder existential questions like: “Should I bake banana bread?”  “What snacks will I have with cocktail hour?” “Do I get on the scale today?”  You know, the important stuff.

And I still haven’t decided where to go for my birthday . . . The Living Room or The Bedroom. Given February had 29 days, March had 300 and there were 5 years in April, all of us may be wanting a change from looking at our same four walls. If there ever was a time to think about what home means, it is now. This may be the time to make your requisitioned kitchen/office, dining room/office, laundry room/office, living room/office, bedroom/office, livelier, brighter, more efficient – before you are so languorous, you start taking seeds off a strawberry with tweezers.   There has been much talk lately of silver linings, but one inevitable outcome is our renewed relationship with our home and the things in it.   And I’m not talking about your new pals  – headphones, wall outlets, hair-trimmers, speakers, floppy hats, and your credit card number.   Every object, piece of furniture, and picture reminds us of the love we have for certain things, the hours spent scouring shops, or the good fortune to find them.

I have always been a firm advocate of  “use what you already have” decorating.

In other words, before shopping for new, shopping your own home for forgotten treasures, to notice what you have already seen.

Often we already have what we need – we just don’t realise it yet. Like those barbells stashed in the back of the closet.

While we continue to hold treasured travel memories in our heads, our hearts, and in our scrapbooks, now room travel is de rigueur. And there are no lineups at security, no flight delays, no loud passengers (well, maybe your room mate), and no waiting for your luggage. Room traveling, or somewhat less poetically, plain old-fashioned puttering from room to room, has been legitimized by our current state of affairs.

The beauty of shopping your own home is that everything is free and there is an unlimited return policy. You can move things around and try them out with no risk. If you try it and don’t like it, you can put it back to how it was and in the process, you will have learned something about design, as well as about your own personal taste.

Sometimes we have become so accustomed to seeing certain things in certain places, it’s like they’ve earned the right to be there (whether they belong there or not). It’s tempting to say, “Oh, I know, I’m keeping it, but I’ll just leave it there for now.”  The rickety dresser that’s been in the guest bedroom for as long as you can remember, is now like a member of the family. It almost feels disloyal to uproot it. But once it’s out in the backyard, with the light of day shining on it, it’s suddenly nothing more than an old, chipped dresser with drawers that won’t close properly.  Most everything has an expiration date. Especially childhood dressers.

1. FURNITURE ARRANGEMENT 

Arranging furniture is always the first place to start with any decorating, whether in quarantine or not. The smallest tweaks in a room can make a huge difference.

Think about arranging you furniture so it makes sense for the room AND how you want it to work for your current lifestyle.

What is it that you love to do? 

Play the tuba, watch Netflix, take cute photos of the side of your neighbour’s house, bake brownies, do jigsaw puzzles, knit, water houseplants?

As an aside, I’ve tended to be very clingy toward my plant babies since the lockdown, so now I have set emotional boundaries and I don’t overwater them.
 

Rearrange rooms (not according to how many guests come over, which is zero), but according to what is best for you.

• Put the couch under the window for better lighting or face it to the TV if you enjoy movie nights.
• Arrange seating around a coffee table to encourage board games.
• Make a reading and writing nook with space for your favourite books, laptop or kindle, and some munchies.
• Design a quiet zen zone with plants, candles, pillows and mat for your daily yoga.
• Bring in accent furniture, area rugs and pieces from other rooms.
• Change out artwork.
• Switch out a lamp or the shade to brighten up a space and/or make your chosen activity easier.

2. PURGE AND ORGANIZE

Given that we must prevail in this situation for a while longer, it may be prudent to be as clutter-free and spacious as possible in order you don’t get crippled by an overwhelming feeling of claustrophobia and frustration.

Maybe you don’t need to rearrange, but just edit items that are making your rooms less than spectacular. By editing, you’re able to reintroduce your favorite pieces, and only those. The rest can go to storage, charity, friends, or back to your mother-in-law, so you’re left with a fresh, well-edited space. By the way since you are in those closets and cupboards, what better time to organize them, than during a pandemic? But be careful about that Japanese decluttering thing where you hold each thing you own and throw it out if it doesn’t give you joy. This doesn’t mean your vegetables and electric bill. This happened way too recently. Suggestion – every few days, try your jeans on just to make sure they fit.  Pyjamas will have you believing all is well in the kingdom.    3. REPURPOSE. REUSE. RETHINK. Put empty frames to use:  Photo projects require a ton of time and energy to complete, which means they sometimes never make it off of your to-do list. Go through the house and add photos to any frames you’re not using or swap out older photos for new ones. Look through your storage spaces and drawers for posters, record covers, favourite pages of a book, old postcards, or love letters you’ve saved over the years. Frame and hang as a gallery wall or in spots around the house.

Textiles can be striking art when hung, as well as filling up an empty wall.

Think about any cloth items you may have picked up in your travels. Perhaps a quilt, an antique kimono, or a blanket you’ve stashed away.

Dressers are one of the most versatile pieces of furniture, providing both display space and storage. Try using one in the entryway for holding mail on top, scarves and hats in drawers below.

Put one in the dining room to use as a buffet, with linens housed in the drawers.

If you are a crafter, paint an old dresser and keep your supplies organized in the drawers.

Paint

We all have those leftover paint cans that are essentially 85% empty, but we keep them just in case.

Why not use some of that paint to refinish a piece of furniture, highlight an alcove, design a wall graphic or make a feature wall?

Dip-dye the legs of a chair, repaint picture frames, the mantel or door for an instant refresh and change.

Floral arrangements

Fresh flower bouquets are difficult to obtain at this time, but we can bring in nature by picking a few leafy branches outside (pussy willows are in season) and display them in a vase. 

Experiment with items in new ways.

Use a stack of books as a side table or a small side chair as a nightstand.Bowls, creamers, cake plates, serving dishes and trays make fabulous organizers for everything from jewelry and makeup brushes to office supplies and mail.Glass bottles, pitchers, and trophy cups can be repurposed as vases or utensil holders. Use a dining table as your desk. If you have an old dining table you no longer use, consider swapping it with your desk for more room to spread out. Be honest about how you use (and how you wished you used) your home. If you hardly ever use your formal dining room but seriously need more space, why not give in and make your dining room the office? Design your home office with a professional looking corner and backdrop. You could hang up your degrees, organize the books on the shelves, and display small artifacts to create the perfect setting for video calls. And wear pants.     Upcycle architectural elements as decorative displays.  If you have old windows, doors, shutters, or ladders lying around, think about how you might use these creatively around the house.  Doors can stand in for your headboard, lean against a wall as art, while old ladders be a side table or hold books, pictures, plants or magazines.  Okay, I’m going to bed now, I’m exhausted from all that shopping.