Post-Parting Depression

March 29, 2021 by

The cure for anything is salt water -–sweat, tears, or the sea.” – Isak Dinesen


  Saying Good-bye

 Tomorrow, my fourth daughter is moving away without my permission following the irritating habit of her two other sisters, one of which even decided to change countries.

Although this may tell more about me, than them.
 
I now only have one progeny left living in my city. She lives down the street and I have tied her to a post with a chain. 
 


My abandonment issues rear their ugly head yet again. (I once went to a support group for this, but I was the only one who showed up.)
 
This defection is particularly traumatic given that my ‘bubble’ has been, and continues to be so small that if it were a room, a chess board would be too big.
 
Feeling cracked, dented, and leaky, I stuff down the panic – another piece of my body gouged and hollowed. 


One would think I’d be used to good-byes by now, or that I’ve somehow figured out how to prepare for the letdown. After all, it’s been almost ten years since I’ve had a full time, live-in offspring, but distance is a fearsome factor.This is another moment, and there will be more, as I am at the age of losses.
  
Do these unaccountable losses ever get easier?  

Mothering is no second-rate ministry. It’s at the sharp edge of everything.

This “letting go” is something we are called to do almost every day of our lives – ambition, ego, envy, energy, people, perfect health, mismatched socks – of a life that never seems to meet our expectations. 
 
The loss of my daughter to a warmer province than ours, is just another “little death”, a letting go. Some losses are heart-rendering, some sad, and some are just realizing that we don’t need to hang on to the sofa we bought when Trudeau was Prime Minister. The first one.
 

 
We fight these losses tooth and nail, dragging self-pity behind us, insisting the world should be a certain way. That is our folly, having expectations and believing that we deserve something because we are kind, we shovel our sidewalk, we donate to the Food Bank, and we pay our taxes on time. We make deals with ourselves, keep talismans on our nightstand, and make red checkmarks on our calendars, in the hope that we will get a Go-Straight–to-Heaven card. 
 
Maybe we could point a finger at Jesus. He seemed to be able to pull off this goodness thing. For example, He took buckets of water from people who lived in the desert and turned them into wine. It probably seemed like a pretty good idea until everyone woke up in the morning with terrific hangovers. 
 
Nothing disappoints us more than our lofty expectations and thinking we deserve something. It’s silly to make ourself miserable, but at least we ought to reserve it for times when we have a really good reason. Discomfort isn’t bad, it’s just uncomfortable.
 

We will always be called on to let go of the things, places and people we love – to do it with grace and maybe even some composure – when the time comes. And practice gratitude not only when our hands are full, but also when our heart is hurting, because I don’t think we can ever love too much.
 
Filed Under: Blog

Getting Lost

March 15, 2021 by
Only those closest to me know my secret.

I believe the politically correct term is directionally challenged, but the commoner usually refers to it as just plain getting lost.

Some may say I take unconventional paths, and by unconventional, they mean wrong. I mostly take the road not traveled – ever – by anyone. And not deliberately.Yes, I’ve been getting lost around the world for decades, living in a cosmos of missed turns, “scenic tours”, and wrong destinations.

 Sometimes the road less traveled is less traveled for a reason. – Jerry Seinfeld

I am the person who stops to look at the giant location mall map, spend two minutes locating the “YOU ARE HERE” guiding star, another five minutes trying to understand exactly which way I need to go to buy a burrito in the Food Court – and then go the opposite direction.

It is not unusual for me to go for a short walk taking just one different street and end up walking an extra hour and a half just to get home.

And I can’t find my seat in church if I go forward for communion.

And if I had a big house, I’d never find the bathroom.Not only do I have trouble exiting my doctor’’s office, I even can get lost INSIDEhis office. I will leave the examining room and invariably turn down the wrong hall, maybe into a closet, or into the doctor’’s private office, “looking like a lobotomized gibbon.

Coming out of the closet” has an entirely different meaning for people like me.

The most confident I ever feel in terms of getting straight to my destination is in an airport going from one gate to another. But this is only because there are signs literally every five feet basically saying, “Good job! You are nailing this! Just make it another five feet and we’ll give you another arrow telling you that you’re going the right way.”  

But I panic whenever I have to go to an airport bathroom because 11 out of 10 times my travel mate is flipping out as the plane is boarding and I am inevitably 14 gates away, striding off confidently in the wrong direction.

It’s as if I exist in a different world.

 Any family member knows better than to ask me which way to turn if they aren’’t sure. They say “Tell me which way you THINK we should turn, and then I’ll go the opposite way.” 

I would like to report that I use this method myself on me, but whenever I try it, I second guess myself and end up, yup, going the wrong way.

When I think about the fact that people used to be able to figure their way around simply by looking at the sun, I’m like…

Lewis and Clark, David Thompson, Marco Polo – semi-gods to me. 

I figure the only way I can alleviate this affliction is to either marry a homing pigeon or take along a competent family member at all times. My daughter can take 350 turns, walk 5 kilometres in a new city, and find a Starbucks that we passed three hours ago. It has always been humiliating having my seven-year-old tell me I’m going the wrong way. Like all the time.

 “Two roads diverged in a wood and I – I took the one less traveled by, and that has made”… the reason I got lost – again.

If I ever have to participate in a caravan of cars, my people will do anything to make sure I’m somewhere in the middle. If I’m the lead car, everybody’s screwed. If I’m the last car, they know they’ll lose me within fifteen seconds. They have found that it’s best to keep me somewhere in the middle, as the chances of me getting lost go down from 100%, to like 76%.The only time someone’s directions help me, are when they are literally sitting in the passenger seat telling me to “turn right here”. Then, “wait until you get up to this light. Yes, this one. Coming up. Alllllmost there. And turn left here. NOW!”

My nightmare job would be a taxi driver.

It would honestly be better if they just told me to drive for three Rihanna songs and then turn right at the stop sign.

Or leave breadcrumbs.

I sometimes wonder where the people are now who have asked me for directions.
 

I can usually find someone to blame for all this. Google Maps is good. It could be my GPS, or the lady three kilometres ago who leaned out her window and told me to turn left at the big spruce. 

Heck, it could even be my ex-best friend in Grade Four who dropped my book in a puddle and set off an entire chain of events that finished with me, lost, alone, and in the middle of nowhere, next to a gravel pile with two stale granola bars for company.

If I ever ask you for directions, please do not use words like “east” and “north”. Directional instructions are especially traumatic when I am in Oahu, because they use words like “mauna” (mountainside), “makai” (oceanside), “ewa” (to the west), and “Diamond Head” for east.

Who can bloody see mountains on the second floor of Saks in Waikiki, I ask?

Nevertheless, not withstanding my inordinate ability to get lost inside an elevator, this has never stopped me from going on the road.

More specifically, back roads. Because this is where I discover, uncover, and recover…who am I, what do I want, and where the heck am I?

Our freedom of travel has been restricted in a way we have never ever experienced. Now into another year of enforced non-travel, it is almost as if we are all collectively directionally challenged, finding that our map, our very being is forced to change, adapt, commit – moment by moment.

It’s like we were supposed to take a right turn down that road 6 kilometres back on a major highway barreling toward our destination, and suddenly we are on a narrow, gravel road. There’s no town, gas station, grain elevator, or house in sight, our cell coverage dropping faster than the TSX in 2008. We are now feeling lost, misaligned, at odds with our constrained reduced world, heightened all the more by a host of anxieties  – an inability to live our “normal” life in almost every context. 

It feels like being a first grader again, searching and searching for your mom amongst the hordes of children and parents in the school yard.

This isn’t what Jack Kerouac, that self-styled crazy hobo, promised—a hazy, no holds barred, carefree jaunt.

No, this is a road trip disaster. But he also said, “…the road is life”. And this is ours now.

Although I wouldn’t be so chesty as to think that I am channelling Jack Kerouac, I have now risen to an almost panicked, dissatisfied restlessness.

And so I aim to do the best I can – drive to all the villages, hamlets, and towns on the Alberta map as I can this year.

After all, getting lost and the unexpected create the best stories.
 


By the way, which way is the Finnegan ferry?

I’m lost. 
 
Filed Under: Blog

Bloom where you’re planted.

March 3, 2021 by
 I don’t mean to brag, but I may have found the secret to happiness – in the top of my coffee cup.

A few years ago, my children bought me a cappuccino machine for my birthday.

And in this time of social starvation, it may be my biggest reason to get up every day.
I jump out of bed and immediately make a cappuccino. I pour out the last drops of foam, and then decide what it looks like.For instance, a few days ago I made the Eiffel Tower, a foaming engineering milestone, if I say so myself.It wasn’t obvious at first. It took a bit of peering and pondering, but all and all, I think it was quite wonderful.

Maybe I was holding it upside down.This morning’s cappuccino was titled, “Blue Spruce in the Snow.” Or maybe it was an Eastern White Pine. They’re similiar.
On days when I feel a bit isolated (okay, quite isolated), I wonder, “Am I still a real person?”


I am constantly perusing other interior designer’s work, incredible projects in places (where we no longer can travel to), read articles that designers have been featured in or have written, and salivate while viewing the latest designs and ideas.

This really can put my small achievements into perspective, and I quickly feel that I haven’t done enough. 

But the truth is, I am still a real person with real achievements, however minuscule they may be, and I do add value to the lives of others. (Although some have reported to say that it is only on an intermittent basis.)

All of us do, in our own personal and special way. 
If there’s one thing that’s improved for me during lockdown, it’s my self-care routine. I was already pretty committed to carving out time for myself before spending a lot of time at home, but now it’s come to an art foam, I mean form.

One thing I noticed early on was how important it was for me to have a space to do the things I love and want to do.  
I call this my sacred space, a place where I go to change things up, to re-enilist with what makes me happy, calm, and creative, to recharge and temporarily switch off from all the scary news and info overload.
My foremost sacred space has always been my bedroom, mostly because I have the greatest upholstered bed ever, where the sun constantly streams in whenever the sun constantly streams in.

My living room has transformed into a permanent yoga studio and a bedroom into a quilting/sewing room.

I can close the door and know nothing will be disturbed, nor does it ever need to be, given the amazing influx of no visitors.
 
Creating Your Sacred Space At Home

How you would you like your sacred space to look, smell and feel? PlantsIf possible, it’s always a good idea to include plants. During these times of lockdown, it’s hard to spend as much time in nature as we might like. Bringing plants into the space is a great way to reconnect to nature. Taking care of plants by watering and singing to them is great for mental health, lifting our spirits. God knows, we all could use more of that.
Lighting candles or dimmable lamps are one of the best ways to make a space feel special, especially if you are going to use the space for early morning meditation or in the evening for relaxation.

There’s nothing more luxurious than waking up slowly in the morning with controlled soft light instead of harsh overhead artificial light. It’s also beneficial to wind down at the end of the day with this soft glow as you prepare for sleep.
Value 
Now, I understand for nearly all of us, there are chapters in our lives that would have been profoundly better to have skipped. Suntanning while slathered in baby oil, avocado shag carpet, low rise jeans…

It’s not an ideal system.

Just as you add value to the lives of others, remember that you are also on the receiving end of a lot of value—sunshine, a kind gesture, an unexpected phone call from a friend, a morning foamy cappuccino.
It’s about making your spaces match who you are, or who you want to be. Our personal spaces tend to reflect who we are internally, not just in terms of what we love, but also what we may be lacking in our lives – like gold sequinned cushions.
Even though we can’t travel the globe, we can expand our world by reading about different parts and peoples of the world, learn a new language, join an online community of enthusiasts for something you love, discover new music, watch documentaries…the possibilities are endless—and will probably make us feel more connected to the world outside of our abode.
It’s just about being the best version of yourself today. And to celebrate where you are right now.
Now bloom, you flower, you!

Filed Under: Blog

How Bold Art You?

February 13, 2021 by

If you’ve seen the MLS photos…

of one of my last staging projects, it’s hard not to agree that using bold art in a neutral setting, was a winning formula. 
Not only were there 2 showings booked within 2 minutes of posting, but it sold conditionally in 1 day. 

Even with this conditional sale, buyers are still asking to view the property. 
32 showings to date!

So if you want to attract a lot of buyers, stunning MLS photos are the key.

After all, no one is going to want to view a listing if the photos show dull rooms with poorly chosen art, poorly hung art, or worse yet, no art at all. 

And if the rooms are neutral – almost always advocated in selling a home – BOLD ART is all the more important because there is a fine line between neutral – and not interested. 

People aren’t just buying a house, they’re buying a lifestyle.

Filed Under: Blog

‘V’ is for…

February 13, 2021 by
Roses, Gifts and Chocolates, Oh My!

Valentine’s Day. Breaking hearts and bank accounts since at least the 14th century.Ask 20 people their opinion about this saccharine bonanza of pink and red, chocolate-dipped holiday, and you are likely to get 20 different answers.

It was Liz Lemon, the protagonist of “30 Rock,” who observed the word “lovers” really tends to bum people out — “unless it’s between the words ‘meat’ and ‘pizza.’ ”

What does Valentine’s Day mean to you?
This past year and continuing, has been hard on all of our hearts. We are all anxious and suffering from too much fear and constant bad news.We are living a continuous Monday of “walking on eggshells”, fatigued and overwhelmed in this merry-go-round situation. This pandemic has added layers of sepulchral complexity most of us didn’t see coming, patterns and rhythms upturned, forcing us to become more and more involved and dependent on technology in our sustained isolation.

Thus, this Valentine’s Day may possibly be more important than ever – a kind of spiritual WD-40, a reminder to reconnect and be more involved with people, institutions, and interests that matter to us – renewing a flagging sense of solidarity.Why don’ t we use this year’s Valentine’s Day as a day off from the negativity, step up to the charitable plate and give back, even a little. 


“V” is for Volunteering

Love is a verb, an action word.
There is nothing more powerful than the act of love, not only in the romantic sense, but in the truest sense of the word. 

It is in the dedication of service, with a heart of compassion, that true power is harnessed, and there are so many organizations and people that could use our help, especially now. Our most valuable currency is being useful.

We can change our thinking about Valentine’s Day as an opportunity – an opportunity to stop for a moment, take a breath and think about the people who share our lives and those who may need our assistance or support.

Focus on giving over getting.

We don’t have to be Mother Teresa or the Dalai Lama, undertake some grand act or give a large monetary gift. Giving can be very simple, like start a walking group for people to connect and exercise, drive seniors to medical appointments, leave a pie on your neighbour’s porch, or deeply listen to someone who is having a tough time.That is good enough. 

And most importantly, to engage without expectation of reciprocation.

We all have the power. Starting with ourself and then sharing and extending it to others. Enough ripples create a wave.

There is an old saying that goes:  If you want happiness for an hour, take a nap. If you want happiness for a day, go fishing. If you want happiness for a year, inherit a fortune. If you want happiness for a lifetime, help somebody.  

Volunteer in a way that honours you, picking something that aligns with your heart, head and hands, as well as being realistic to your lifestyle.

For me, I love to decorate for special events, and one organization that is dear to my heart is CADS – Calgary Adaptive Snowsports Association, a volunteer based charitable organization that makes skiing and snowboarding accessible to individuals with disabilities. https://youtu.be/dA8Uvsj26cc

Until Covid made it impossible to hold the fundraiser, I have been honoured to decorate for their galas, revelling in every minute…proving yet once again that it is always more pleasurable giving than receiving. 
Celebrate it every day.

Ultimately, how we choose to celebrate Valentine’s Day is up to us. But giving something of ourselves, whether it be time, money or talent, always has a positive effect on our personal feeling of belonging, of community, and our sense of self-worth.

It’s only one day in the year, but there are 364 other Un-Valentine Days to be of service to celebrate the love and relationships in our lives.

From your not-so secret admirer, thank you CADS.
Filed Under: Blog

I don’t sing in the shower. I perform.

January 25, 2021 by
Ah, the shower…that hard tile resonance chamber that sends spasms of bravado into a splashing sense of rhythm, of perfect pitch, of imagining being in front of Adam, Blake or Simon slaying an Adele ballad, golden confetti raining down on your winning performance –  cause you know you sound good.Yes, I am a “shower singer”, welding a ratty hair brush instead of microphone.

The Family knows that the door to the bathroom must be closed when I am in the shower. The interesting thing about it: I think I sound wonderful. It seems that my shower stall yeilds an excellent tone of voice. If I could just move the shower stall to the choir loft, I’d never lack for a perfect alto section.

Unfortunately, out of the shower, the fact that I’m partially deaf in one ear, have no real training in music, and a voice that is remarkable for the fact that is sounds like none other – all combine to make choirs everywhere grateful that I’ve never darkened their loft. Or at least they should be.

(For all you sceptics, it is common industry knowledge that “Weird Al” recorded his first hit single, “My Bologna,” in the bathroom.)

I would also like to point out that according to HealthCanada.com, singing burns 136 calories per hour. So the next time someone knocks on the bathroom door and asks if you can keep it down with your singing, let them know you’re not doing it to irritate them; you’re singing for your health.

Now, according to a recent Romanian survey, not only has it been discovered that 1 in 5 believe that are talented enough to win “AGT”, but they also found that the biggest thinkers amongst us spend an inordinate amount of time in the bathroom – it is THE place that they come up with their best ideas and productive thoughts.They calculate that the average person spends 22 or 45 minutes in the bathroom every day (depending on which other survey you read), which equates to just under 350 or 529 days (depending on which other survey you read), across the average lifetime of 81 years. When you think of it that way, it’s no real surprise that it seems to be the location for many a brainwave.

Now if you think that is amazing, contrast that with the time spent searching for lost possessions which take about 10 minutes a day, adding up to 2.5 days a year. These 2.5 days/year make 118 days in your lifetime looking for lost possessions. That’s 1/3 of a year just roaming around, searching.  

And most of those things are probably in your bathroom – somewhere.In my own recent off-the-cuff, but exclusive survey, I expanded the findings to discover that more than 95% of the respondents say that having a great bathroom is the “key” to their overall happiness. 

On top of that, 81% of respondents who have recently renovated their bathroom say that it has tangibly improved their happiness by 79.5%.

 It’s not easy being small.

Now if your present bathroom is giving you an AAAARGH! feeling, and more so if you have a smallish bathroom that is driving you to drink more than normal, this post is definitely for you.Every bathroom has to satisfy certain needs, and therefore must include the basics: sink and taps, shower or bathing area, and toilet. No matter how small the space, these things have to be shoved in there.Oh, and of course, a sunken soaker tub, heated towel racks, bar fridge, roaring fireplace, decorative ceramic urns, a hanging TV, bonsai trees, backlit mirrors, bamboo lotion dispensers, art mural, copper ventilated laundry basket, an extra sink for the Mrs., heated floors, upholstered velvet vanity stool, crystal chandelier, a trash can for recyclables, and all overlooking a courtyard and adjacent to a dressing room.

And so I say:

There are a myriad of tried and true ways for making a small bathroom not only look better and bigger, but have more storage.  

10 INSIDER TIPS: USE FOR PERSONAL PROFIT IS WELCOMED

1. Keep everything light and bright in the same tone, colour and value, as to not chop up the space visually. i.e. when the tile colour matches the wall colour, it visually doubles the space. Bring in interest and texture by using the same tile in different shapes and sizes.

Believe it or not, big tiles make a small bathroom feel larger.

2.  Take the shower tile up to the ceiling. It always amazes me how builders will stop tile one foot below the ceiling, trimming out the edge of the tile with bullnose edges. That probably costs more money than installing tile all the way up to the ceiling.

Fewer transitions + less contrast = more expansive feel.  
3. Use clear glass in your shower. Textured glass can make a space feel like it has an extra wall. You can get light in and have some privacy, but it will be a visual barrier.

 4. Go BIG on mirrors. Ideally, install mirror from side wall to side wall, and backsplash to ceiling behind the sink. You’ve just enlarged your room tenfold without moving a wall!  

This helps the ceiling look higher while visually expanding the square footage.

Installing sconces in the vanity mirror instead of in the wall on either side of the mirror, will bounce light around the room, doubling the amount of available light.
5. Recess a medicine chest and shampoo niche into the wall. You can also bury a linen cabinet into the wall, adding more storage. 

It’s amazing what an extra four inches will get you! And make it full height.
6. Use walls hooks instead of a towel bar.
7. Install matching floor tile baseboard instead of a wood baseboard. It creates cohesion with the rest of the room, gives a lux look, and is practical, given splashing water. 
8. Install tile seamlessly from the shower to behind the toilet, lining up to becoming part of the backsplash behind the vanity.
9. Mount a towel bar on the shower door. When space is at a minimum, mounting a towel bar on the shower door keeps towels handy. You might need to store the bulk of your towels in a nearby linen closet, but having that one towel close by to dry off with, is essential.
10. Float the vanity cabinet 8 inches off the floor, visually making the bathroom appear bigger, without sacrificing much storage space.

Alternatively, consider using cabinetry 16 or 18 inches deep, instead of the usual 22 inches to maximize space.

 I would now like to thank The Metro Calgary Water Services Department and my partner, whose patience allowed for practical testing of the theories discussed in this article.
Filed Under: Blog

Reno or Not

January 14, 2021 by
There are some things that some of us only do every 25 years. 

Attend your high school reunion, traverse an IKEA store without buying something, and renovate a kitchen. These are just facts.
As far as I’m concerned, there really are only two important decisions in a person’s life: choosing a mate and renovating a kitchen. If that seems like an overstatement, you just haven’t found the right mate.
So if you have a kitchen that is in dire need of a good cabinetmaker or a well-placed bolt of lightning, this blog is for you.
No home remodelling project comes with more benefits—and more headaches—than a major kitchen renovation.

If you have the courage to tackle the work yourself (the secret, like any life skill, is obtuse resiliency), and knowing that you may have to live on take-out poutine for a good portion of that time, this blog may not be for you.
A remodelled, stunning, and better functioning kitchen is always worth the time, money, and effort and greatly increases your home equity like few other remodelling projects.
One way you may be able to save some money is to serve as your own contractor by choosing the materials, pick colours, haul samples home, accept deliveries, order appliances, apply for permits, interview, hire, coordinate and supervise the individual subcontractors to do the hands-on work, etc.Yup, might as well have told you to march outside hang a new garage door.

Like THAT’S ever gonna happen.

The habit of the mind is to note what’s not right in our lives and obsess about all that is missing. Like a dishwasher that cleans the dishes better than when you put them in.

Some might call it the source of our suffering.

It often begins harmlessly enough, but can quickly degenerate into a project that wouldn’t be out of place in sheer anarchy and mystery and lack of rules and not knowing what was going to happen next.
 
So by far, the easiest way to remodel a kitchen is to off-load the planning, design, and management of workers to a general contractor/designer. This could be the noblest kind of action.

Why? 

Because professionals know where to buy the stuff and how to do this detailed and overwhelming project.

It’s like a fridge with benefits. 

1. We have your best interests in mind.

We make sure the products you are getting are at the best for your kitchen given your present variety of disturbing materials and colours, the boisterous wallpaper, which had once, for a brief and unfortunate moment, been very much in vogue, or eliminating the ongoing need to use your stove top as an countertop extension.

We help you sort through your ideas to come up with a perfect plan and execution based on expert information and informed decisions so the entire process can be less stressful and worrisome.

2. We save you time.

The murky arena of renovations is not a single day task –  it takes weeks and weeks to complete. 

You need to gather and purchase all the materials, remove the old structure from the kitchen, and set up the new structure, Experienced professionals save a hierarchy of problems and time in the long run (and inevitable mistakes), as they work a lot faster and efficiently. 

3. We save your money. 

Professionals know their vendors, which materials and colours have staying power, and the products that are the best for your budget. Typically, most people who don’t work in the industry will try and fail miserably on a complete DIY kitchen, eventually ending up hiring some professionals, but not before they have spent a lot of money, time, and energy along the way. 


What you might usefully extrapolate from all this, is that hiring competent professionals will give you the best bang for your buck, keep overall costs down, save you from eating poutine, and make your kitchen look like a million bucks.
Nod thoughtfully.
Anyway, thanks for coming to my TED talk about kitchen renovations. I realize this is more information than you probably asked for.
Filed Under: Blog

New Year’s Eve

December 31, 2020 by
New Year’s Eve

1. A celebratory occasion that may involve Herculean acts of goodwill toward people, Librium, spinach dips, resolutions, and alcohol-fuelled apoplectic fits.

2. A special day of activity or recreation.
 

People historically fall into two camps when it comes to New Year’s Eve:

1) They love the celebration and splash out hundreds on a party at a below average bar sobbing about unrequited love or

 2) They binge on Meg Ryan movies, waiting for the iconic scene of glitter falling as the clock strikes midnight, while chomping down on Miss Vicky’s chips with a side of cheap wine.

But this year is a wee bit different. Because…2020. 

 
Spending this New Year’s Eve this year will majorly depend on:

1) your age 
2) your remaining levels of optimism
3) your present threshold of patience

And your New Year’s Resolutions will also likely depend on the aforementioned.

Examples:

1) Deciding to make your own coffee once a week.
2) When auld acquaintance be forgot. Unless that test comes back positive.
3) No dieting all year long. 
4) To try to remember why you have walked into a room.
5) To take the Christmas lights down by Easter. 
6) Take time to go on a long walk two times a week. You go Tuesdays, your partner on Fridays.
6) Or not to make any, as the last ones on the books aren’t being enforced anyway.

In ending, this New Year’s Eve, remember to drink and wander around your house responsibly.

P.S. I still don’t know what I’m wearing to the living room New Year’s Eve…I might not even go.
 

Filed Under: Blog

Have Yourself a Minimalist Little Christmas

December 12, 2020 by
Contents may have shifted during flight.

 Well, here we are once more – getting ready to not go out. Again.

As satisfying a feeling as slamming a revolving door.

We are fast becoming crusty curmudgeons bound in this tormented seclusion, incapable of distinguishing between last week and the extinction of dinosaurs. 

But as they say, when one door opens – there will be cold air coming in.

Which brings me to thoughts of opening doors to Christmas gifting, because if you haven’t already procured your offerings, it now may be a bit more of a challenge.

But I am here to help – or at least offer my unsolicited opinions.
Here are some ideas that may not necessarily count as principles, but that you may find helpful in cutting costs, help local businesses, minimize packaging, and reduce non-consumables.


Choose consumables instead of tchotskes. My personal choices – chocolate, a great Merlot, locally roasted coffee, chocolate, fine cheeses or craft liquors from a local distillery, and chocolate. 

Something homemade, handmade or local will have a story and thoughtfulness behind it, and you will have supported someone’s chocolate habit. P.S. Overcoming the pull of carbohydrates consumerism is a difficult challenge regardless of our stage in life.

Think of experiences instead of clutter. Pre-paid tickets to a museum, ballet, or a spa-day would be nice, but given our present situation, think about a gift card for a delivered restaurant meal to enjoy immediately.

Make a donation to their favourite charity in their name.

Be of service –  baby-sitting hours while parents go for a much needed walk – or nap. Have a cherished piece of art or picture professionally reframed. Paint some walls. Pot a plant.

Memories – and help– are far more valuable than dust-collecting items

Or you could always consider getting your partner a nice bath mat, something you’ve wanted for years.

Use recyclable or better yet, reusable, gift wrap. You don’t need shiny foil (not recyclable) with reindeer prints. Buy a bulk roll of brown craft paper and decorate it with simple twine or ribbon and a sprig of evergreen for a pretty touch. 

Or wrap in a new dishtowel and add ribbons. Reuse gift bags and boxes you have hanging around.

Order from local or Canadian companies. Remember, companies are following you on the web and collecting data on everything you look at, search, briefly pause over, text or email. They know almost everything. They know (or have a good guess) of your financial situation and budget. They know how close you are to purchasing an item and how badly you want or need it. They know your postal code and adjust prices accordingly. You are rarely seeing the same price as someone else. Digital marketing is a mad genius. It’s slick and tricky and full of people who understand human psychology better than you do. Big Business – especially when online – is out to get every dollar they can.

https://www.naturebeewraps.ca/

Make items. For those us who can and love to make, or bake – these are always appreciated. Think of something and spend some time creating your jars or project for your loved ones. A pie left on a front porch is just right. 

After all, can one really have too many face masks? 

Have Yourself a Minimalist Little Christmas. As if there is a choice.

Filed Under: Blog

Not that you asked…

August 27, 2020 by

Over the last twenty and counting years, I have been perusing your personal space, leaving no drawer unopened, so I thought it only fair that I released a bit of my personal information, except the delicate contents of my underwear drawer.

This overture may run the gamut of superficial, to deeply personal, to the huge turning points in my private life.

I overheard someone say, while sitting in a bar the other night, that these self-disclosures play a key role in forming strong relationships, boost empathy, build trust, and is a powerful way to handle social media criticism. 

Yes, I know there are risks. And it’s not always straightforward. So this will be a brief, personal recollection for the purposes of historical clarity. Not for publication.

Here it goes.

I am not that old and relatively well-adjusted. I used to enjoy watching baseball and other things on television. I like gambling and am extremely wealthy. I enjoy films and music of all kinds. I like many different kinds of food and desserts, including breakfast. I hate the cold and own many warm garments. I like people who are un-complicatedly happy, have a half-baked sense of humour, and don’t use puns in sentences. When my concentration is threatened, I dispense with contractions. And no member of my family is “known” by the police.
One may note that If you give a writer enough free time (and confinement), they’re eventually going to go mad and find a way to express themselves questionably.
Over the decades wobbly wandering this planet, I have picked up a smattering of invaluable life experiences and non-essential information. I felt it only right to share some of them with you.

Again, not that you asked.

1. When you come to a fork in the road, take it. It might be the one missing from your silverware set.

2. Don’t use bleach to get red wine stains off a white wall in your living room. This happened to me the other day and was odd for many reasons, one of them being that the wine in question had been drunk in my bedroom. (This is a coping mechanism I’ve developed after years of being devastatingly single and not having that one person to run to with everything that ails me. That’s what a relationship is for right? Please advise.)
3. Neutrals, from café au lait to camel, create a cozy atmosphere and bring a sense of sanctuary. They diffuse the stresses of the world, offer restoration, balance, and the subversive and consoling joy of not using a colour wheel.
4. The end goal isn’t just to own less stuff. The end goal is to live a satisfied, deep, and more intentional life focused on things that actually matter – like happier employees and gaining more followers on Tooter and Facebrick.  
5. Overcoming the pull of carbohydrates consumerism is a difficult challenge regardless of our stage in life.
6. When bored with someone you are with at a restaurant, say: “Excuse me, I have to go to the bathroom.” Politely excuse yourself. Don’t mention the bathroom is at the gas station, ten miles down the road.
7. As Justice Potter Stewart said of pornography, most of us know poor taste when we see it.
8. Dress up, be charming, and have clean hair.

9. And no matter what, always wear comfortable pants.
 

Filed Under: Blog
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