Art is necessary because it begins where words end. It is the necessary nourishment for the heart and soul and if humanity is to maintain any ounce of sanity, it would not ignore it. – Maryln Mori, painter, Saratoga CA

There is widespread agreement that art is very important. Although this blog is ultimately about sex. (I threw this in just to keep your attention.)

We all know that art is meant to be somehow good for us, but to ask simply ‘What is it for?’ may sound childishly naive, impatient or vulgar.

There are things that cannot be understood with pure reason — like love and beauty, to name two. And your partner. That’s 3.

Art can help us understand our world. It is propaganda for what really matters: the way we live, rather the way we think we should live.

Art is meant to make us think and feel, rather than just see.

The phrase, ‘beauty is in the eye of the beholder’, originally came into prominence as a shield to protect us against snobbery and was a defence against intolerance; basically meaning – “I can hang as many badly framed acrylic faced IKEA posters as I want.”

But given that the freedom to think and feel as we like, is now very well enshrined (perhaps too well enshrined), we don’t need to stay stuck on this oft tossed phrase.

Our day-to-day problem isn’t that we’ll be bossed around by snobs, it’s that the chances of attractive art, fashion, furnishings, jewelry, architecture, bridges and shoes…taking hold will be lost because of a culture obsessed by quick profits, shoddy workmanship, environmental and morally irresponsible choices, and a refusal to engage artists in a dialogue about what they’re up to.

Closing conversation down with ‘beauty lies in the eye of the beholder’ can make an already tricky situation far worse. A society that can’t talk sensibly, publicly and perhaps at length, about beauty will inadvertently condemn itself to ugliness.

All too often, I see art treated as an afterthought.

Laying In bed this morning renewing acquaintanceship with my problems, I thought about the fact that art is what gets dealt with last – long after the final coat of paint has dried on the walls and all of the furniture has been put back – if it gets dealt with at all.

But I’m here to argue that by relegating wall art to the sidelines, you’re missing out on an opportunity to communicate an intention about yourself to the world.

Art helps soothe ourselves, when we perhaps have had too much of ourselves – or the world.

Many get into a real tizzy about looking for art-to-match-the-sofa, and in as much as that’s all fine and good, wall art holds a much more important role in your life and home.

What is art? Nothing. What does it want? Everything. What can it do? Something. – Jean-Luc Godard

At the same time, we’ve come to believe that art belongs in art galleries and that we can’t afford originals, so we avoid art galleries and don’t own any originals; thereby condemning ourselves by museum opening hours and badly framed inconsequential, meaningless art.

For example, when we are in an art gallery viewing a particular piece, it is highly unlikely that we, at that particular time, have need of Monet’s immensely calming vista of water, trees and evening lights.

It would be much better if we hung a copy of this work in the kitchen or by the bathroom door – places where angst has a tendency to congeal at any given Monday morning at 7 a.m., when we often feel like this.

People are often afraid of art.

We listen to people that insist that all abstract art is just weird, and anybody could paint – that!

And the world starts to divide. There are those (like you and me) who are right, and there are others who are sunk in confusion, but we console ourselves by knowing that we are finally in the company of someone who is deeply, wildly, and plainly wrong, a hooligan of sorts.

I know I’m stating the bleeding obvious.

I have difficulty imaging the trenchant acuity of most of them, unburdened with talent, unpicking the poetry of Lucretius or analyzing the state of the Danish economy.

Then there are also those that insist that copies are worthless, embarrassing kitsch.

But nobody needs to pay millions, or take a day off and make a trip to an art gallery, just to view an original.

A copy, pastiche, forgery, reproduction in a poster or even a postcard is enough. 96% of the value of the Monet painting is available if you take a look at it for two concentrated minutes.

A poster transmits a great deal of the original too. And if we’re honest we have to admit that quite often it’s the poster that moves us later, while we didn’t feel or think anything very much when we stood gingerly in front of the original in the gallery, jostling for elbow room.

But why? Why are copies always supposed to be so terrible? Even asking this straightforward question is suspect.

Sometimes, of course, a copy is truly terrible.

What if it’s a really good copy? What if the details are faithful? What if the proportions are harmonious and the colours lovely? A well-made reproduction carries 99% of the meaning of the original. Maybe that’s all that really matters.

Copies allow us to locate these important, beneficial images in the places where we can encounter them in our times of need

There is no such thing as great art, per se, only art that works for you. – Alain de Botton

In a perfect world there would be no art.

Art is born of necessity to a world of imperfection. In a sense, we all live within ourselves, within our own consciousness, within our perceptions. Images connects us in deep ways. Art comes with an opportunity to build a unique story of our own; of the friends who bore you, our incapacity to succeed at being happy with someone else, of sorrow, on how to be less lonely, or the desultoriness of the office.

The truth is, art, any art, is indispensable. Works of art are tools that can help our lives to go on a little better, maybe more wisely, and also fill those empty walls. 

To paint or not to paint, that is the question:
’tis nobler in the home to suffer
The slings and arrows of outrageous colours,
Or to take up a paintbrush against a sea of trouble…

There’s something disheartening for a colour lover when you walk down your average street to be greeted by (what seems to be) endless rows of beige and grey siding and stucco. The architects may have had incredible gifts and accomplishments, like the ability to calculate the day of the week for any date in history, but unfortunately most possessed the design acumen of a lettuce.

Long gone are the days where every house was unique in its construction, colour and architecture; with the rise of cookie-cutter homes making our streets look increasingly identical, fuliginous and boring.

There’s no denying the influence color has on our purchases, big and small. From cereal boxes to cars, color psychology drives marketing all over the world. Buying a house is certainly no exception.

Only 10% of people can see beyond what they see as they walk into a property. That means that anything taste-specific is difficult for buyers to overlook when choosing their dream home. Although I distrust this statistic, because I learned it from a placemat.

That’s not to say that you can’t save the day by bringing in some personality with colour. It just has to be the right one.

When sellers ask what is the “Best Bang for Their Buck” in preparing their home for sale…my answer is always paint.

Colour is not just paint. The right colour sells and makes a huge difference to the length of time a house is on the market and the price it sells for. There have been a myriad of times over the last decade and a half, where I had unfurnished houses sell within days just by having them repainted.

Yesterday was a walk in the park. I don’t mean the day was easy. I just went for a walk in the park.

It was a day for letting go, of routines, of other’s and my expectations, and of heavy clothing. It was a glorious day. It may have been our first day of summer, as spring is a season Calgarians only read about.

I set off to explore, curious. No sir-ee. No demure little cabbage am I.

As I walked, I pondered – about letting go. There were children releasing kites to the wind, the last of the withered leaves were dropping off the trees in preparation for new growth, and the quintessential tiny green shoots were striving to press up through the still-cool ground.

Spring is a reminder, heralding renewal and rebirth, letting go of the old and embracing the new.

The most important reason for going from one place to the other is to see what’s in between. – Norton Juster, The Phantom Tollbooth

Italso Calvino said, “Every experience is unrepeatable.” In a wink, it’s gone. The bloom on the flower, clouds floating away, a person leaving. The only freedom we have with change lies with acceptance, in the act of willful surrender. You have to know when to fold ’em, grieve, and then let it go.

Some things are meant to be laid down, their time has come. One determinant for the freshness of life comes from one’s willingness to leave the comfort of certainty and step into a place where one lives not knowing what the next day will bring.

Discomfort isn’t bad – it’s just uncomfortable. Every change is a loss, and every loss is a transformation and it must be mourned before it can be transformed into something valuable

What matters most is that we make up our mind and march forward. Nothing is worse than the paralysis of indecision, for what good will it do to do nothing?

Practitioners of procrastination and denial climb the stairs to nowhere fast. Like if you don’t talk about death, it won’t happen. If we keep moving ahead, we find ourselves in a different place. I wish I wasn’t so indecisive, but now I’m not so sure.

We don’t have to be brimming with hope and exuberance, or even passion. Just curiosity. The main thing is that we show up, that we are fully present, and that we find a way to be part of this glorious world of ours.

I think a lot of us wish that if we bought every self-help book on Amazon and put them under our pillow for twelve nights in a row, we would be fixed. But then again, most self-help books would be vastly improved by reading them aloud while paired with interpretive dance.

Our life is better when we feel we are of use to someone or something. It can be as simple as being a good friend to one person. Our home is better when we ask ourselves not what we can buy, but what we can get rid of. The problem in our culture isn’t having enough, it’s having too much. We need to decide what should stay and what should go.

Yes, and this would require several different life skills that aren’t necessarily our favourites.

Letting go of old habits, ideas, or people who are not serving your best interests, mismatched socks, rusty garden chairs, and more, is not an easy task.

Letting go can be scary. Sometimes you have to let one story end so the next one can begin, yet one can never know when the next story will happen, which is why you always have to let it go and carry on with Scheherazade survival.

Letting go can be as simple as recycling, clearing out the basement or giving away old clothing. It can be as radical as leaving a long-standing marriage or friendship or moving to a new city. Whichever it is, it is probably going to create anxiety, and maybe even great pain. But more than likely, at the end of the day, you will have achieved renewal, serenity and more space in your cupboards.

Trust me, you won’t fix it. I have a hard and fast rule. If it’s broken, fix it (this weekend) or forget it. And those red kitten heels with the broken sole? What it will cost you to get them fixed is probably not worth your time, effort or money.

Do look a gift horse in the mouth. People’s decorating tastes change over time, but I am fairly certain you will never enjoy a series of rhinestone-accented paintings of clowns or a collection of tiny gold rimmed plates of Oriental scenes. Many hoard those unattractive presents because they think it is the decent thing to do. But a gift is to be given away freely. What you do with it is your choice.

Just admit that you don’t like it. As you sort through your stuff, become aware of the fact that maybe you don’t even want or even like some of it. Most people live with them out of pure apathy. This is the easiest clutter to set free. All it takes is a little motivation to pack up a few boxes and drop them off at a local charity. Give to Caesar what is Caesar’s.

Know what you really need. Often what we need is only related to the thing we have. For instance, many of us have thousands of documents in bulky filing cabinets. But you only need the information on the pages, not the paper itself. Just keep the documents you really need to have in their original form, then scan and save others as digital files. Toss the rest.

Almost everything now is available digitally, saving thousands of trees. They also can be more readily accessed, instead of spending tens of hours searching for that one lone document in the myriad of boxes.

Photos and children’s memorabilia can be scanned and made digitally available in this way also. Save them on a USB Flash Drive and put them in your safety deposit box or fire proof safe. I also send copies to my children, I-Cloud or similar locations, so there will always be a copy of anything valuable to me somewhere in case of fire, flood or computer failure.

Let go of the guilt. I hear story after story where their parents or grandparents passed away, whereby they inherited a collection of 27 rusty knives, warped cookie sheets, mismatched glasses, and rickety furniture. They kept all these items for decades, moving them from one house to another, stumbling over them in the basement, threading through them in drawers, and hitting their knees against pieces in the their now over-crowded rooms.

They finally came to realize that if their parents or grandparents were still alive, they may have replaced the cookie sheets and knife set (and been mortified that they had passed on such dangerous accoutrements), most of the glasses would have been broken (if they had ever been used), and furniture long disposed of for more appropriate pieces.

“One day” almost never comes. This may be surprisingly unsurprising, but many justify keeping half their wardrobe on the basis that ” one day” they will wear the item. They would lose the weight. The piece would come back in style. But let’s face it, not only does the style change, but so do you.

P.S. It is a well known fact that the day you balance your checking account, master a salsa step, clean your desk, and purge your closet, you reduce the likelihood of getting some dreadful disease.

Yes, and sometimes I can put cornflakes to sleep.

by Maryanne Pope | March 26, 2010 Republished April 2nd, 2016

“When we attack clutter with action, clarity, and a good spring cleaning, creative potential is unleashed.” – Katherine Gibson, Unclutter Your Life

Feeling a bit like a crusty old barnacle cemented to a rock?

Fear not! Spring is upon us and what better time for a fresh start…whatever that might mean to you.

Several years ago, when I was still living in Calgary, I de-cluttered my home and, sad as it is to admit, I didn’t even recognize some of the items unearthed…and they were in my house! (So if anyone’s missing a large peanut-shaped covered dish with a porcelain squirrel inside, my apologies but it’s gone now.)

I gave over 100 boxes of STUFF to charity and recycled at least 50 boxes of paper and cardboard.

And what else did I find beneath all that clutter, chaos and dust?

A beautiful – and ridiculously large for one person and two dogs – home, complete with gorgeous hardwood floors, funky furniture and stunning artwork. Who knew?

When I first contacted my realtor, Sherry Heinrich, a few months earlier about my dream of moving closer to the ocean, her first piece of advice was, “De-clutter…as in starting now.”

Her second piece of advice was to consider hiring, when the time came, a professional home stager. The de-cluttering concept I understood in theory (although practicing it was a different story); the staging idea not so much.

Alas, four months later, my home was – literally – hundreds of pounds lighter and my dream of moving to Vancouver Island stronger than ever. Sherry was flabbergasted at my de-cluttering efforts and rewarded me with an introduction to Karyn Elliott of Crazy House Home Staging – the stager who would ‘dress’ my home for sale.

Karyn whirled through my place, leaving a trail of orange sticky notes tagging items that needed to be removed and suggestions for me to tackle – from painting the pink and blue bedrooms back to white (which took three coats!), moving furniture, taking down all artwork (which she later put back up but in different places), purchasing new bedding, towels, soap dispensers, lighting, etc.

The total investment was $2500 and the end result was well worth it.

As a good-bye gift, Sherry had a pretty little photo album made up for me that showcased the look of my staged home. Here are two rooms:

However, true to human nature, I quickly realized that I loved the new look of my old digs…and I got to thinking that I would be a-okay if my home didn’t sell because I was so happy here! I could stay right where I was and enjoy my –

My phone rang.

It was Sherry. An offer had just come in on my house.

Most barnacles don’t jump off their rocks. They either fall off when they die (and even then, sometimes not!) or get pried off by forces bigger than them.

After only 5 days on the market, my home was conditionally sold.

I dare say the universe was gently prying me off my safe little rock. My friend and a mentor of mine, Brian Willis, likes to refer to this apt quote by William Jennings Bryan: “Destiny is not a matter of chance; it is a matter of choice…it is not a thing to be waited for, it is a thing to be achieved.” If you’re feeling rather stuck, here are 3 things you can try to help get you unstuck and back on track towards living the life you love:

1. De-clutter: start to shed those things – furniture, clothes, files, dishes, thoughts, feelings – which are no longer working for you.

2. Ask yourself: are you excited about the changes you can make – or are you content with the status quo?

3. Get a new and different perspective – preferably from an objective source – on an old, but familiar-to-you, situation.

And, perhaps most importantly, if you really want to get unstuck, be sure to set tangible goals: “A goal is a dream with a deadline” – Napoleon Hill

Related blogs by Maryanne: And then the Day Came… Right on Time Order in the House – 4 Steps to More Serene Surroundings Say WHAT? Sorting Other People’s Stuff Letting Go of Always Letting Go

Maryanne Pope is the author of A Widow’s Awakening and the playwright of Saviour. Her next book, Barrier Removed; A Tough Love Guide to Achieving Your Dreams will be released in Fall 2016. Maryanne is the CEO of Pink Gazelle Productions Inc. and the Board Chair of the John Petropoulos Memorial Fund. 

I believe that what we want and need most in our homes is to experience a sense of welcome. No matter what the decorating style, homes should possess the solace of comfort. We all want a home and spaces that we can enjoy and use without clearing off the debris first.

Consider how caring for our homes is an expression of our authenticity. Creating a comfortable, well-run home can be among our most satisfying accomplishments.

Clearing away the clutter is a spiritual endeavour made up of choices, not chores, and the process can be as satisfying and empowering as the results. With every mite of clearing, you are creating a calm, clear space for yourself; making room for wonderful new gifts to come into your life, such as order and serenity.

For most of us, cleaning and clearing is all about completing the task, so much so, that it’s often hard to start a task we know we won’t have enough time to complete. (That’s probably why the living room couch is usually covered with laundry).

Zen monks have a practice called soji.

It usually lasts about 20 minutes, where each monk is assigned a specific task each day, and he does it calmly without trying to finish the task. After 20 minutes, the work leader walks around ringing a bell that signals the end of soji. When they hear the bell, they simply stop what they are doing. If the floors are only half swept, if there are still dishes to be dried, if they only polished half of the windows – it doesn’t matter- they just put away their tools and move on to the next thing.

In fact, you can apply this practise to basically anything on your to-do list. Work for 20 minutes without answering your phone or checking your email or concerning yourself with how far you’ve gotten and just work to work. Solely focus on the task at hand. Then, when the 20 minutes are up, stop what you’re doing and move on.

Another thing that soju can teach us is how to get tasks done even when we don’t feel like doing them, to accept your work assignment without comment. It doesn’t matter if you don’t feel like drying the dishes or if you hate the smell of window cleaner or if you actually love raking leaves for that matter. You just do what is assigned to you, in silence, and ideally with no preference. Or if you do have a preference, you learn to ignore it.

Cleaning like a monk without caring if the task can be finished, also helps you get started on a task that may be daunting to complete

I once had a client that was not able to use her library den for over a year until placing the “Plea for Help”, as there was not one inch of floor space, being completely covered with a myriad of book-filled boxes. We systematically (with some severe hand-holding) went through each box; first purging, then organizing the books on the shelves, then finishing by styling the shelves. It only took three hours.

(I’m sorry, but in this case, 20 minutes every day would have taken her into her next life.)

This practice, called o-soji, also takes place in most Japanese schools as well, right after the students eat lunch. Everyone from first-graders all the way up to high schoolers are expected to spend a certain amount of time cleaning their classroom or another part of the school. The daily cleaning the students do is an integral part of their day.

Cleaning is just as much for the students as for the school. Having students clean on a regular basis helps teach them discipline and respect for public space.

So consider approaching some of the tasks in your life from the soji perspective.

What would happen if it wasn’t so much about finishing but more about simply doing?

What burdens can be put down when we redirect our energies not toward the goal but into the process itself, into each moment along the way?

I’ve been trying to start this newsletter for the last forty-five minutes and all I have to show for it is a blank page and forty-five minutes of my life that have been spent alternately staring at a blinking cursor, checking Twitter to see if the person who’s trying to hack into my account has succeeded, and watching old footage of the Perseid Meteor shower from the Canary Islands.

Yes, its been one of those exhilarating days going up and down three flights of stairs for four hours transforming A Scary Closet (including dismissing said scary items to a lower rank…i.e. the basement) into one that looks like it’s off the pages of House and Home, but with a lot more clothes and personality. So I’m a little tired, and when I’m tired, it’s easy to get a little down and out.

Maybe by the day after tomorrow, which happens to be the third day of the rest of my life, I’ll wake up feeling as fresh as a daisy. Assuming you’re thinking of a daisy that has been run over by a lawnmower. Twice.
Now getting to the topic at hand…seeds of virtue. Because that’s what I wrote at the top of the page.

Being virtuous may sound old-fashioned nowadays. Yet we all need to develop positive qualities like dutifulness, prudence, industriousness, humour and trustworthiness in order to better connect to all those we care about.

It’s the same with preparing a home for sale. There needs to be positive preparation techniques in order that each home connects quickly to a buyer; positive virtues such as cleanliness, order, comfort, delight, and interest.

Staging a home for sale is setting it up so a buyer immediately falls in love with it. Effective staging entails arranging the furniture appropriately and then styling it with grace and finesse, bringing in feelings of comfort, care, harmony and organization, thus giving the house the good attention it deserves by showcasing it’s full potential.
Putting a house on the market without first professionally staging it, is like a novice pilot assuming they can fly after sending a paper plane successfully around the room.

They say insanity is doing the same old thing while expecting different results.

Or maybe what you are doing is working, but maybe it could be working better.

… to commit to something different. Something new. Not to a result, but commit to the process of ever-improving results.

If anyone has lived on this planet as an adult for more than two decades, then it is highly probable they have quite the accumulation.

Nowadays people are bit more aware of how much stuff they have because it is beginning to be a bit of social stigma if you have too much stuff.

There’s now a name for these people. Hoarders. Back in the day, they were just called grandmothers.

DE-CLUTTERING alone, can be worth a mint before putting a house on the market.

I think a lot of us wish that if we bought every organizing book on Amazon and put them under our pillow for ten nights in a row, we would be completely organized, but it doesn’t seem to work that way. And then again, most organizing books would be vastly improved by reading them aloud pairing them with interpretive dance.

Now that would be an unholy union.

Getting rid of such things is easy for me while staging. I have no emotional attachment to them, but sometimes it’s not so easy for the seller.

It can be difficult to convince them to admit to the logic of saying goodbye to 3 colanders, 4 bags of stuffed toys, a forest of brooms, 12 glass canisters of varying heights, a one-hole punch, a VHS tape of Saturday Night Fever, a rusty sifter, a candy dish decorated with squirrels around the rim, a pogo stick, a tweed bowler hat, a wine-making kit, beeswax candle stubs, a framed paint-by-number picture of Canada geese, 12 different sets of paper napkins, tattered bathrobes, a broken typewriter, nesting baby blue Samsonsite luggage, blankets that hadn’t been unfolded in 23 years, fly swatters, lobster bisque stockings, paper fans from Chinatown, Thai take-out menus, styrofoam egg cartons, purses with one handle, singleton rubber boots, a potholder which more holes than fabric, several dozen records without covers, a sixth-grade autograph book, a unopened set of pansy dessert plates, and three Bocce balls.

You can have too much of a good thing.

Tips for sellers:

Weed out anything you wouldn’t want to get caught wearing in public.
Hold on to what you need to hold on to. But if you haven’t used it or it’s a surprise to you that you even own it, let it go.
If you can’t remove the stains, remove what the stains are staining.
Never get rid of love letters. Or anything that makes you smile.
If it’s made of newsprint, get rid of it.
If the best thing you can say about it that it was cheap, toss it.
No buyer is interested in how many moisturizers you own. That’s what bathroom cabinets are for.
Keep in mind that clutter-free does not mean compulsive; you want to organize your home for selling, not hide all signs of it.

First, double check that you have thrown out all that you can.
Ask yourself – Do you truly need all this stuff?
The 70’s have come and gone, so it may be time to let go of the KC and the Sunshine Band tapes and your comprehensive Chicago LP collection. And by the way, how many times have you actually used that bread-maker?

Some storage deserves to be closed.
Like your first report card, or that unfortunate snapshot of you taken the day you got braces.

Access is more important than quantity.
Closets and storage are not effective and do not show well if you can’t see everything at a glance.

A good rule of thumb is to store objects one-deep in appropriately sized storage units. Two feet is ideal for blankets; two inches is perfect for Q-Tips.

Covering up things can work, but only if the cover is a lot better than what it hides. For example, a huge armoire in the living room holding the TV-on-steroids makes the problem bigger. Don’t make it the focal point of a room and then pretend nobody won’t notice the TV because it is behind cabinet doors. Likewise a speaker with a plant on top. It doesn’t mask the speaker; it draws attention to it.

The secret to a fruitful sale? Staging it well to sow the seeds for success.

It’s easy to get irritated by people who are concerned about details. These are the people who seem to have a homunculus who walks around in their head with a lab coat and stopwatch.

They are bothered by a comma, in the wrong place (that was on purpose), they get upset if the dishwasher is not stacked the way they prefer, it takes them two months to settle on a colour to repaint the bedroom, they are convinced that they need to reorganize all their back issues of National Geographic, they sort their shopping bags by size and colour, they will not leave the house with dishes in the sink, they obsessively wipe dust off their computer screen and clean their keyboard with dipped-in alcohol cotton swabs, they know the price of 100 medium-size paper clips, and the exact number of CDs they own.

We give them interesting descriptives: pernickety, obsessive, perfectionist, pedantic. We feel they have a skewed sense of importance and lack a sense of proportion. They can magnify trivia until it becomes important enough to control their life. Behind their backs we mock them for their absurd devotion to things we believe are an utterly waste of time and attention.

They are as unaware of their particular propensities as the person who shows up with her famous casserole that is famous for all the wrong reasons.

But what actually bothers us about fussy people is not that they are interested in detail – but rather that we sense that they are focused on the wrong details – that is, on unimportant ones.

Sometimes we need to recruit and honour fussy people – because fussiness well-directed is a key to success. It just needs to be directed in areas that matter.

Like in styling a home.

Many feel that the 80/20 rule is good enough – there is no need to be overly fussy. Known as the “Pareto Principle”, the 80-20 rule states that 80% of outcomes can be attributed to 20% of the causes for a given event.

But this law of the vital few is not the law I like to use when styling or decorating a home.

In order to save time, energy and money, some insouciantly think it is ‘good enough’ to shove extraneous items into closets or basements or anywhere they think no one will look  or that it doesn’t matter.

It matters.

The only people you may be fooling with the oppressive intimacy of overstuffed closets, halls, storage rooms or basements – is you.

Art that is not hung well can ruin a room, even if the furniture and accessories are placed properly.

Conversely, if done properly, it can triple the overall effect of a room. Like the adage, “a picture is worth a thousand words”, it is worth the time, expense and effort to have it done professionally. You could say it’s the art of diversion – and excellent styling.

From surfeit to loss

We may also include in the “fussy and odd” category, people who are a bit off base with their thinking of how rooms should be decorated. Many are confounded thinking they need to buy new pieces or that they need to get rid of pieces.

I have rescued many homes where the only problem is that the furniture is arranged badly. This makes a world of difference. It is a matter of proper spacial planning, integrating appropriate traffic paths and designing intimate conversation groupings.

Sometimes pieces can be used in another room and be given another use. For example, if the dining room doesn’t have room for the matching hutch, it could be moved to a bedroom to be used for storage, crafts, sewing materials, or to house clothes.

Think about going an extra mile by giving some time and attention to tweaking closets, kitchen cupboards, bookshelves; or bringing some colour in by painting a feature wall, buying bright toss cushions or a throw: or purchasing matching storage baskets, towels, bedskirt or a better lamp, so as to bring the room to is full majesty. 

How many times has this happened to you?

You are at a dinner party…in a meeting…with a friend…interviewing for a job…going on a date, and are deeply engaged in a topic you know well. But perhaps for whatever reason, you are not on top of your game at that moment, or are a bit self-conscious, tired, distracted, or worried about looking foolish.

When challenged on some point, you find yourself at a complete loss for words, incapable of cobbling together even a semblance of a coherent, – never mind ingenious response.

Soon after, you leave. On your way down the staircase, you continue to replay that humiliating moment in your mind, searching for that perfect cutting or witty retort you would have loved to deliver to your frenemy. Just as you reach the bottom of the stairs, you find it. Eureka!

The question. Should you turn around, walk back up the stairs, and return to deliver your illustrious comeback?

Of course not. It’s too late. The moment — and with it, the opportunity — had passed.

This is what Diderot wrote about this experience in 1773, “A sensitive man, such as myself, overwhelmed by the argument leveled against him, becomes confused and can only think clearly again [when he reaches] the bottom of the stairs.”

And so he coined the phrase l’esprit d’escalier — the spirit of the stairs, or staircase wit – the incisive remark you come up with too late.

The perfect comeback. The lost retort. And it carries with it a sense of regret, disappointment, humiliation.

We all want a do-over. But we seldom get one.

Luckily STAIRCASES in our homes need not be prone to such comportment. There is always another chance to right the wrong, fix the unfixable, or utilize the “it’s never too late” philosophy – in other words to experience great “growth fulness” if we keep our wits about us.

I would now like to look more closely at specific areas of rectifying pejorative staircase design/colours/styling/cluttered and other worthwhile endeavours to reflect positive social values that – hey!! Where you going? Get back here!

Now to avert events like sprained ankles, lawsuits and an appropriate amount of profanity, we need to put our best foot forward, starting with the front steps.

How many times have I had to manoeuvre a maze-like obstacle course just to get to the doorbell of client’s homes. It’s important to keep the coast clear for great curb appeal, hungry guests and quick get-aways.Often the same amount and type of extraneous debris found on the front steps (except for snow shovels, empty plant pots and ineffectual umbrellas) can be found on interior stairs and landings, which need to be kept clear at all times. 

There are some houses that are fortuitous to have a small shelf halfway up the staircase that many erroneously believe is a laundry basket or grounds to display a collection of small dusty candles and unframed archival photographs of distant ancestors. Contrary to years of mismanagement, this is actually an opportune styling situation for a grouping of mainly TALL art object(s).Then we have the niche, where many are wont to lay down the smallest object they own. Simply put, it’s the two-thirds design height rule, or at least half.

But then again, rules are meant to be broken.

The stairway wall leading up to the next floor can serve as an art gallery, although I have to warn you, this is quite difficult to pull off without a truly talented stylist with a penchant for heights and a small level. 

Some homes have a staircase landing wide enough for an art gallery or family photos (if not, my favourite space is the upstairs hallway wall)…

or stairs wide enough for shelves.

So in your home, you can be real, have a second chance – and come up with that “zinger” line.

Just go back up the stairs again.

A querencia is a Spanish word that is difficult to translate. It basically means a place where we feel safe, a ‘home’. It doesn’t actually have to be where we live, it’s a place from which we draw our strength and inspiration. For example, in bullfighting, a bull may stake out a querencia in a part of the ring where he will gather his energies before another charge.

Where is your querencia?

Another difficult-to-translate Spanish word is friolero, meaning having a special sensitivity to cold. Being friolero doesn’t imply criticism. It’s like being double-jointed or lactose intolerant: it’s just a fact about you.

The word is affectionate. Some of one’s favourite people might be especially friolero – and therefore in special need of blankets and hugs. Which is me. And if truth be told, most of us.

How do we give ourselves comfort?

How can we make a little space in our hearts for every place that we arrive at?

Valentine’s Day might just be the perfect reminder to do just that. It’s like puling a thread from a sweater; the next thing you know you have a pile of yarn on the floor. 

How do we solve the problem of how to love your life? (And your rooms.)

This journey to knowing yourself is lifelong work. We form bonds to be of service to others, not to ourselves. But service must be given freely. To give freely of oneself, one must know oneself. And when you know who you are and what you stand for, you stand in wisdom.

Everyone has their own paradoxical inner rain. When you really want to disappear, is when you really want to be seen. When you really don’t want to talk, is when you really want to be heard. When you really want to be left alone, is when you really want to be comforted. When you really want to run away from everybody, is when you really want to be found – by almost anybody.

The things that were. The things that could have been. The things you hoped for. The splinters in your heart. The rips in your sofa.

Do you use elegiac bedding that has been with you since university dorm days?

Do you wistfully yearn for stillness and languorous reading time, but don’t have a comfortable chair or proper lighting?

Have you been caught in the crosshairs meaning to get some pieces framed – and hung?

Do you long to bring some sentimental objects into a new story in your home, but have no idea what box they are packed in?

Do you treat yourself to fresh flowers or even one?

Have you made playlists of your favourite music?

Things can fail, but it didn’t necessarily mean that you have failed. You never fail if you can put your feet on the floor the next morning. And when you come to the end of yourself, that’s when something else can begin.

Georgia O’Keefe said that whether or not you succeed or not is irrelevant, as there’s no such thing. Success is an arbitrary measurement and it’s not always a victory march. It defines who we are, it’s uncomfortable, flowery and won’t always go well.

What if success was measured by how much better or worse you left the place than when you arrived?

What if it was measured by how kindly you’ve treated yourself and others, and how respectful you were of your emotions and experiences, and theirs?

What if it was measured by well you loved, and by how much grace and fortitude you displayed in the face of life’s challenges?

What if it were measured by how compassionate and forgiving you were with the unfinished diamonds of others who are on the same journey as you are? That you had the palatable, reassuring sense that it’s okay to be a human being.

What if it was measured by how much joy you brought to the table? (By the way, if I had read the above paragraphs on the inside of book jacket, I might have searched for a lightly used copy on Amazon.)

It’s no secret that we’re hardwired for connection.

Making a home in this world is a function of making time to love. It is taking time for yourself and for your family. It’s taking time and giving attention to being a good friend and to the forgotten neighbour next door with her meowing stray cat.

We have such a careless disdain of fate. We think we have all the time in the world, but sometimes we will never get the chance to see someone or some place again.

All we can do is make the moments we have matter.

Maybe now is the day to start.

We all need to develop positive yet challenging qualities like confidence, devotion, and faith in order to better connect to those we care about and accomplish the tasks we truly value. In order to cultivate these virtues, we human beings need regular reminders of their dimensions and importance.

Valentine’s Day can be this kind of ambit nudge, serving as a prompt so that, ideally, we can change and thus grow.

I’d tell you more, but frankly, I’m getting despondent about the whole thing.  Maybe I just should take myself off to a small fireproof room. Or go in the other room and watch TV, but that would require moving and I don’t know I’m that motivated.

GOOD LOOKING JUST ISN’T GOOD ENOUGH

Good space planning and well-considered functionality are the key differences between a house that just looks great, and one that is also immensely enjoyable.

Storage, light, and spatial flow: get these right at the beginning and you have a plan that translates to a great space.

You need a clear idea of your requirements—whether for just one sofa or a complex renovation. These will guide you and keep you focused when faced with limitless options and decisions.

All projects, big or small, should start with a brief if you don’t want a room that looks like an explosion at the Crayola factory or like someone spent under twenty-seven minutes in IKEA furnishing it.

Understanding space is the first step to transforming it.

So many problem rooms are often just badly placed furniture. Move furniture around and try something different before spending money on new things or throwing out what you already own.

The three rules of design are edit, edit and edit. 

A good way to begin is to empty out the room. Put back the biggest piece of furniture first, and then work your way down in size.

This may seem quite obvious, but some of us jump right over the obvious.

The first item on the docket is discard before you place things back. You must discard first. Don’t put anything away until everything you are going to discard is removed. I’m sure I just said that.

And be ruthless. Just because your second cousin’s great-aunt Marta on your father’s side gave it to you, doesn’t mean you have to keep it. And just like Marta, who is often described as “poetical in her appearance”, which for those unversed in Victorian euphemism translates to mean, “depressed-looking and extremely badly dressed”, so should you err on the side of supreme caution when settling items back in.

addding subtrcting multimultiplying div id ingIf not, your demons may have finally made it out your front door, but they still might be doing push-ups on your parking pad. Just sayin'.

…flooring is the most significant finish in an interior.

Literally the foundation, it should be decided before most anything else. It is also best not to change floor finishes unless there is a closed door to another room or a change of level that creates a logical transition point.

These somewhat arbitrary and abrupt changes continue to be the bane of my existence and have my flooring contractors getting extra holidays to the Bahamas with their profits.

Like Goethe, whose last words were -“More light.”, multiple sources of light create the best atmosphere and are practical, too.

A sole overhead light in a room is as sharp as a spoon and half as useful.

Light bounced off the ceiling with sconces, lamps, and directional downlights will balance out the hot spots created by these fixed down lights or pendents.

Most rooms benefit from at least three sources of light, hopefully evenly distributed.
The first question is – what do you want to do in the room or area? Then light it accordingly.

I think a lot of rooms simply aren’t used because one can’t see anything properly. Take reading, for example. Not only do you want a comfortable place to curl up in, a place to set down your libations and bowl of cheezies, but you also need a light shining directly on your thriller novel.

There is no recipe on how to combine things, except you must be sincere, and somehow, strangely, it will succeed.

Unless you’re designing a historic movie set, décor from a single era can feel stifling. Let your room tell a story. Not a Tuesday afternoon soap opera, but a New Yorks Times page-turner.

It may be better to be absolutely ridiculous than to be absolutely boring. Or as the French say, it is better to have bad taste than no taste at all. I’ll have to think about that.

Juxtapositions don’t have to be hard; it might simply be modern chairs at a well-loved wooden dining table, an antique steamer truck with a sleek sectional, or original 50’s pendants hanging serenely over a granite countertop.

Textural layering is important. The trick is to never let one value outweigh another.

To something dark, add a flash of light:to something massive, bring in something sculptural: to the serious, add something humorous: to something hard, put in something soft.

You can’t get anywhere if you observe all the rules. Even Picasso and the Dalai Lama say that it’s best to know the rules well, so you can break them effectively. I’m paraphrasing here.

Use a colour because it works, not just because it’s fashionable. Colour is not just paint. Opening up a cupboard in a classic white-and-timber kitchen to find stacks of dinnerware against an interior painted turquoise can be a daily delight.

Books, throws, pillows, ottomans, and artworks are fine opportunities to introduce color. That said, over-matching colors is a crime in my book and can suck the life out of a space. It’s a dated and tired look that lacks expression and interest.

An elegant simplicity. A carefully retained palette. The joy of a treasured object.

The mix has never been so beautiful.

Accessories are a great way to bring your interests and personality to a space. Buying armloads of useless, meaningless, or fashionable objects is no match for things collected over time.

A home should feel collected, not decorated.

A beautiful Murano glass vase you saw in a shop window, a rug from the time you got lost in the maize of narrow streets in Morocco, a carved wooden bowl filled with apples you’ll actually eat, a collection of sentimental objects…these are the simple things that make a home welcoming and individual.

Comfort, practicality, authenticity, and scale are all essential considerations when considering furniture.

Buying copies can cheat you of the lasting pleasures that pieces made with care and quality can bring. So if your budget doesn’t allow for a designer armchair, buy a designer lamp instead and a well-made local chair. Buying this way also reduces landfill.

I have a leather sofa that is accumulating more birthday candles than I can count. Its classic lines and quality have endured. In fact, high quality leather, as in a good wool rug, develops a patina and looks better as it ages. Thus we both continue to look forward to many more hours of viewing pleasure.

At the end of it all, what each of us needs and longs for is a beautiful and sacred place where we can feel wholly at home. This is our canyon-strewn desert.